More To Life..

I am so sick and tired of being so sick and tired. 

I am alone, left to the mercy of my sadistic mind. 

I want to love. I want to be indispensable and have people that are as necessary as air. I spend a significant amount of time in the confines of this room, or walking about with no one but myself. Entirely too much time to think. I think people drive themselves crazy with thinking of incomprehensible things. “what if” is a dangerous question. Seeking thrills through reckless endangerment only satisfies for so long. Not nearly enough to sustain my insatiable desire of fulfillment. There has got to be more to life then this. I wake up daily to a lifetime of repetition.  Eat, Work, enduring boredom, Sleep, repeat. There has got to be more then this. What is the purpose of living for this? For inherently nothing? I want to be enthralled and excited. I want to live with passion and conviction. But for what? What have I got to inspire me? Not a thing. And that has got to change. I cannot live like this. I would never want to. I need something to live for, just living isn’t enough for me. 

PaigePostmortem PaigePostmortem
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 13, 2010

i feel the same way. everyday it's like a repeat the same crap over and over. my life is very predictable. i have always strived and wanted something more. but that only makes me realize that i'm alone....

I know that feeling. You have to set yourself goals and tackle issues one at a time if not they all just seem like one huge problem and that gets you no where. I've been feeling like that for 7 years now but i still have to push for my goals. Its a long process but your get there in the end.