Lost In A World Full Of People With Nobody To Find Me

I feel alone all the time, even in a house full of people. All i wanna do is stay in my room, curl up and die. Right now is the worst part of the day because i really am all alone, and i stupid **** when im alone. When there is people here i dont want to be around them and it always makes me feel like crap. It pi**** everyone off that id rather stay in my room, but they just dont understand. They have tried to talk to me but i cant open up to anyone because i dont know myself. I am useless cause all i can seem to do is sit on my *** and waste space and precious oxygen. I cant motivate myself nor can anyone else, whats the use? I have really bad habbits and i am very suicidal i just wish that i was motivated at least enough to end it. I have it all planned out and my notes written, i have physically said good byes in a nonconspicuous way and i have wrote out what they can do with my things, now i just need to get off my *** and do it already.