Confusion and Heartbreak

I am a 25 year old single mother. Over and over i have made bad decisions in my life. It hasnt been easy. I have been in and out of abusive relationships, dealt with jail, and DCF. I am battling Bi-polar and finding happiness has been impossible for as long as i remember. At times i feel suicidal. like no one cared. I met someone named mike, who i fell for almost instantly. for the first time in as long as i can remember, I was happy. He treated me so good! He said that he loved me. Even spent a week in maine with me to visit my family. I felt peace  and hope like i never felt before. In the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he was thinking about moving to North Carolina, with his sister. He then later said that he changed his mind, that he had fallen in love with me and my son. All of the guilt i had over my son having no positive male influence melted. I no longer was scared of raising a little boy on my own. I no longer felt alone. When my tax check came in, he borrowed almost 900 dollars from me. Which was nothing to me because i would have trusted him with my own life...and now, with out even a goodbye...he "changed his mind" and moved today to NC...not even a good bye. so all the months of happiness, trust, and finally feeling free...meant nothing. i feel so taken advantage of. I loved him so dearly. No amount of tears will show my disappointment and heartache. i never knew i could be truly happy. feel human again. but now hes gone. he left today.

mtga mtga
Mar 7, 2009