Feel It

when i first talked to my ex gf about a childhood memory of mine. she got very upset with the story and cried for a little. which indicates she was feeling sad. now this got me thinking: my whole childhood is full of stories which are capable of making her cry again and again. then i realized i was familiar with the feeling of sadness the feeling of fear the anxiety and their symptoms. further i think i realize i never intend to word up those feelings. so it is kinda i never actually felt them. since if i dont word up my feelings i can transfer them to nobody not even to myself. i stopped thinking right there because angst got me again suddenly. 

i was about to suffocate in it then i realized one other thing. that i sometimes felt good feelings too. which while i feel them i put them into words and i mean very beautiful very relaxing words. life should be made of these feelings i said to myself. however this intense feeling will leave/left his way to sad feelings again. then i finally came to see the whole picture!!! 

there are certain feelings i can experience but more importantly i have to understand that all those feelings belong to me. they are unique codes of my existence. i dont have to feel anything against my feelings. i just have to see them. i want to know every single one of them. 
durbinefesalya durbinefesalya
22-25, M
Jul 17, 2010