Not so much anymore as before though. The time I remember feeling it the most was right after breaking up with a boyfriend, not my last one. We had been friends before we were together, and we were trying pretty hard to stay friends after we broke up.

It was a few days after, and I had been having a horrible day. Obviously, the fact that we had broken up was pretty upsetting. I had completely withdrawn from school, and had to tell people that there was a good chance I wouldn't see them again. I had been fired from my job, which I absolutely loved (if you read some of my earlier stories on here, you can see how I was pretty much feeling the whole time). And just to add to it, I got home to my parents screaming at each other about absolutely everything they could think of. It was just an all around bad day.

I went up to my room, got on my computer, and he was on. I told him what was going on with my day, and he was sympathetic. Finally, I just really needed to hear it said back to me, so I said "I love you." His response took a while, and then finally he replied "Don't say that."

It's been a long time since then, and I've had another boyfriend, and definitely had days that would qualify as worse than that one. And I can still feel that incredible... despair I felt when he said that. Even having worse days, I don't think I've ever experienced a worse feeliing than that.

garbanzobean garbanzobean
22-25, F
Feb 13, 2009