A Spiritual EncounterI haven't had one of these probably in over a decade. When I was younger, especially as a child I was extremely open to the spiritual world. I remember what it is like to have those moments that are indescribable when a spirit comes with a message. I haven't had this experience in so long because I have blocked the spiritual world after seeing so many horrific things. I had this experience a few minutes ago and thought it would be a good thing to write down so I don't forget. BTW, this some of will sound like a horror story. That is not the intent. It is the background of the story that is essential to really understanding this spiritual experience.
I was talking to my friend on the phone about the conversation I just had with my husband. He had just informed me about everything that his mother spent an hour saying about me. She said so many cruel things that I couldn't even absorb everything she said.
Here is some background information that is essential to the story:
-From the very beginning she has hated me. She never gave me a chance. Her hatred has made her so blind that she cannot see that she is the reason why her and her son no longer converse. She has done so many hurtful things that it would take at least 5000 words to list them all. She is a full blown narcissist. She projects everything onto me. I am the scape goat. She has always told my husband that I am manipulating him. Honestly she knows nothing about me. She has never taken the time to know me. My husband is her only child. She doesn't want to lose control over running his entire life. She has called him crying while begging him to divorce me. She justifies everything and does not see any consequences for her actions (ie;. taking $10,000 out of my husband's bank account). I honestly have stayed out of everything and have never done anything to deserve this treatment. I always tell my husband to do what he wants regarding her. I'm staying out of it. I have only agonized for years over everything she has always said behind my back.
-I have been hit with a series of unfortunate events this past year that have put my degree on hold. I went from having ovarian cysts to having the H1N1 virus to taking 6 months to withdraw from an antidepressant which gave me seizures and migraines, to a double ear infection that landed me in the ER, and finally a ton of back problems (a spinal cord tumor, spinal stenosis, pelvis deformation, etc) that have landed me bed ridden and in agonizing pain for months. I use a walker and cannot take care of myself. I am awaiting back surgery that could render me paralyzed. These events began as I was in the middle of my final semester studying abroad in London in the fall of 09 and are still occurring. When my husband and I returned, we had no where else to go so we ended up living at my parents for a year. He could not find a job and I was too sick to work or finish my degree. His parents have offered no assistance.
-His mother can someone relate to my back problems as she has suffered from sciatic pain and had surgery to her herniated disk (I also have that and so much more wrong).
-A little over a year ago I lost someone very close to me to lung cancer. Her name is Judy. She was my psychologist whom I've had a true friendship with since my senior year in high school (8 years). She was much more than a psychologist. She was a true healer. We had a real spiritual and intellectual connection that bridged several generations. If past lives truly existed, I know she was in one of mine. I was one of her favorite clients. (Psychologists aren't supposed to say that but she did many times! lol) I still feel everyday that she is watching over me.
So back to the story. I was discussing what I could recollect that my mother in-law said about me. From what little I remember she said that I have been faking my illnesses this entire time to keep my husband dependent on me and away from his family (even though he was the one who didn't want to see them after they took all of his money), that it's my fault that her relationship with her son is destroyed, that I will be a professional student and will never graduate or make anything of myself in life (I already have two bachelors degrees and am done with my coursework for my graduate degree in the best communications college in the country. All that's left is tying the rest of my final project which done), and that back pain comes and goes, I should suck it up and get over it. My husband described her as "going off the deep end." All she was doing was speculating the past, present, and future without any reason, logic, or information to back up anything. We haven't even talked to her for a year. She strung bits of pieces of information from a previous 5 minute conversation that my husband had with her last week and went to town.
Well it's never easy hearing such horrible things that are constantly streaming out of her mouth especially for 4 years. I can't even tell you how many books I've read just to deal with people like her. Anyway I was upset while talking to my friend and was beginning to question my integrity. When people say things like that, I often second guess myself and really ask "am who she says I am?" My friend reassured me and said that woman has always been an evil b#*$& from the beginning and there is no way I am like that. My friend said she would know since we have been friends for 13 years. I thanked her but still told her that I feel like I still need a professional who can observe everything that has happened and who can tell me 'I am not crazy' and not manipulative. But before I could finish that sentence I felt a memory and a feeling hit me suddenly while interrupting my thoughts. All of the sudden I was overcome with uncontrollable tears and shaking that lasted for 15 minutes. My throat was so clenched that I couldn't speak for 5 minutes. It was so sudden and so clear. I knew that Judy was there and sending me a message through a similar experience that she has helped me overcome years before.
At least 9 years ago I was in a similar situation where I was surrounded by abusive people in my life. They always made me question my sanity. I remember asking her if everything they said was true? She said I am completely normal and have always have been surrounded by unstable people. People like that always make others believe they should question reality as well as their sanity. I am the most sane and healthy person she has seen in her practice. I have only needed help because I have a hard time dealing with difficult people.
That was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I felt such overwhelming joy when that memory was placed in such vivid detail. I honestly haven't thought of that moment since that day so that makes this more remarkable. I can't believe I've had another experience like this. I thought I really turned off my ability years ago. It felt just like it always has before.