Cannot Keep Going

today is the seventh day I have been in bed hiding from the world.  I got up yesterday, bathed, removed the bed linens but to no avail.  Let me explain my situation.

My only child, 23, moved in with two babies about eight months ago.  I am newly married two years this coming august.  My husband and I fixed a bed, tv and remote access computer in his portable building for privacy.  That is where I am.

I called work to say I had a stomach virus to get out of working the past three days.  My second job was finished for the month.  My husbands children, 10 and 14 are scheduled to visit this weekend. 

I went inside with my dirty linens while my child was out with the babies.  I was all alone.  Before I could finish the first load in the washer while I was soaking in the tub, they returned.  My grandchildren ended up in the tub with me.  So much for my time.

Boundaries!  That is my problem. 

I work two jobs though my own personal expenses do not require me to do so.  I work a job below my pay and education level as a second job.  My co workers seem threatened and overly authoritative.  Just the ones younger than I. 

My husband's exwife is the wicked witch of the west!  She blames me for everything, though she ran off seven years ago with the man she is now married.  I knew her mistreatment of him and hatred of me when I met my husband just over two years ago.  I continue to avoid her.  I often remove myself when his children are present to the best of my ability so his ex cannot find fault, but I am still the subject of her reason for him not getting his visitation.  He has been forced repeatedly into court because of this at a cost of several thousands of dollars for a lawyer.

Now get this:  His ex wife's husband pointed a gun at him to prevent him from picking up his children for court ordered scheduled visitation.  The man was arrested, while she blew kisses as he was loaded in the police car.  All this was done in front of the kids.  The man made bail immediately, and my husband did not get his kids that weekend.  Now to top it all off, the District Attorney's office refused to prosecute stating it is a divorce court matter!

Right now I am crying because I cannot get my house clean.  His children are scheduled to arrive for the weekend at 5pm today.  It is cluttered with toys, mail, and various life things with too many people in a two bedroom house.  I used to bark at my child to clean up.  I am tired of it.  The laundry is overflowing, dirty dishes in the sink, cat litter box needs changing, floors need mopping and there are still a couple totes of Christmas decorations not returned to the shed.  I cannot do it any more!

Why does it always fall on me?  Why am I always the one found at fault?  I need help!!  I am so stressed!!

My husband knows this.  He is such a sweet man.  He talks about how he wishes I did not have to work.  He is about to give up on fighting to see his children.  He loves my child and grandchildren to the point of giving up his home for them.  They love him as well.

I have to get the cat litter and floors done at least.  The rest will just have to get reported back to his ex wife.  I am too stressed.