Stuck In Reality

I've always been carefree in the most pleasant way. I love being around people but also enjoy my me time. But this past year I ended things with my bf, lost my apartment, my dog, and my job. These are things i usually could handle in a roll off the shoulder way but right when i tried to move on my mom ran off with my dads brother, my dad started abusing drugs, my older sister left town, and I'm stuck in an old home, with my two younger siblings looking at me with this look of last hope. I know i can take care of me but they have been so affected by their intake of everything their bitterness is not only getting under my skin, but somewhat into it. I have this feeling of unfairness which I'm use to just saying and feeling that "oh well, life goes on" mentality but I can't bring that to my current situation. I try to talk to my parents about me feeling, not obligated but needed by my little sister and brother. My mom says don't worry let god take the wheel. That i can't cure all. She is 25mins away living alone while waiting for my uncle who she left her home for is back in prison. And in her mind completely convinced my brother, who is having drug, gang and emotional issues you couldn't imagine, isn't hurting. Not putting all blame on her because my dad now allows certain behavior because he found a friend in his son and can't say no to save his life. He only sees that he works and pays min bills. We have been pushing it with our house and I'll be surprised if we make it another 2 months. My dad is slowly slipping into a lying, sneaky, blank-eyed man that is breaking my heart. I remember the joy he use to have, his heart was so full. Now its getting sucked up like his cheeks. My older sister is very un-understanding so to say. She doesn;t want to hear, see, know, or feel anything anymore. And i don't blame her. My younger sister has pity for our brother and is wearing her mind and heart out fighting for him with words but not able to say it the right way or at the right time. I tend to do the same. I wish i could take them away and earse anything that they are battling. As for me, I'm stuck....
redresiree redresiree
1 Response Jul 28, 2010

Stay strong and do what you know is right