I Had Never Felt The Impulse Of Actually Killing Myself Until Now.

I had fantasized about it several times, but I always knew I wasn't goin'g to do it. Now, it's not so much an idea, but a gut feeling of really wanting to go on with it.
For some months, my now ex girlfriend has had some serious problems, problems which she apparently doesn want to solve. She's been damaging herself badly. For a while, I thought she was improving. I thought she was going to go to a therapist that I found for her, I thought she wasn't doing the same things she had been doing. Some week or so ago, she decided not to go to the therapist. She has an appointment to go in February, but I think she will cancel it again. recently though, I fount out that shes doing things even worse than before.
I don't know how to deal with someone that I care aboutthis much damaging herself. I don't know how to help her. I don't know what to do. I feel so much impotence. The biggest problem is, I don't realy see this improving.
All I wish for is for her to be ok. Without that, I don't know what will happen.
Juanie Juanie
26-30, M
Jan 21, 2013