This Has Been Depressing

 I've been reading around lately, picking up on some spats that are going on here, and what I'm getting is that we are sometimes short on tolerance, patience and tact.

I think we need to remember why so many of us have come to value this place.  Some of us are wise, some of us are playful, some of us are super smart, creative, honest.  But most of us are hurt, stressed out, lonely.  And we all deal with that in different ways.

Now it may be that since no one has attacked me yet in any way that I took personally, I may not have the perspective I need to understand why people are lashing out at each other.  But I do understand that people who are trying to recover from bad events in their lives will lash out, will not always mean everything they say.

If there is one place on the web where patience and tolerance is needed, this is it.  We have a lot to offer each other.  But we are going to misunderstand each other, disapprove of each other, etc.  This can't be a safe place if we're not going to be careful of how we criticize each other.

Lest anyone think this is a disguised attack on one person, I assure you it isn't.  And I don't want to make it seem like if I felt like I was being attacked, I wouldn't lash out.  I would.  I have, not on this site, but another.

But it's depressing.  This is becoming an important place to me, and it's like watching your family get in horrible fights, especially when you get the feeling that if you could just sit everyone down and have a moderated discussion, they'd see that they're all pretty good people.  I suppose that's excessively optimistic.  And it's depressing.

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8 Responses Oct 1, 2008

I agree cause one of the reasons I went to this ep site wuz to look for people who are kinda like me cause I wuz lonely

Nice job, WT.<br />
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The entire situation makes me sad. We don't have to like each other, we don't have to agree with each other, all I ask for is tolerance.<br />
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EP is my escape.......and right now it's my home....

Very Good Tree....

I tolerate a lot from people and I do my best to be understanding. But we all have our limits on what we tolorate and a lot of fights can happen when that limit is reached. I don't think people should start fights or pick on others just because their views are different though. I see this happening much too often and it doesn't make any sense. As long as you're not trying to shove your beliefs and views at me, I don't care what you believe.<br />
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Some EP folks just need to learn how to be more understanding.

I have a curse. Unfortunately for me, and many of the people in my life, and for some ungodly reason it holds pretty true to form online as well, I have the uncanny knack of getting a feel for motive. Quickly. This has gotten me in trouble and cost me a lot in relationships. That and and I lost the key to my mouth so it just pops open and words tumble out.<br />
But along with this I have also got a knack for knowing exactly the weakest place to target. That more than anything else is something I am always aware of. because I know what will hurt, and usually how much.<br />
Since I also understand that level of pain, and I also have felt the recoil when I have stepped across that line, I try very very hard not to. To a point that I am considered cold hearted and viscious. (if people only knew it's just the opposite,eh?)<br />
Which is why in many situations where I am not in a position to just 'walk away' I detach and become analytical. Which is almost as bad.<br />
I guess, my point, is each of us as to operate in our own comfort zone of respect and courtesy to others.

If any of my posts or comments are met with hostility, I figure it's easy to just ignore it. Especially here in cyberspace, and remaining annomous, there's no reason to fight. Heck, any one of you could live next door. If I read a story that I don't like or find an opinion that I disagree with (as in this political season) I just move on without saying anything. And I'm a sarcastic ***** anyway, so if I post anything sincere, nobody believes it anyway....

For me, most of the time, even when it galls me and I grit my teeth, I move on. But there are times it just begs the comment. But in return, I try very hard to realize the same holds true for others with what I write. Unfotunately I'm not perfect..... yet:D

Ah. I agree. And I apologize if I seem tactless at times. I sometimes forget that others pick up on it. I will endevor in future posts to remain at least a little more tactful. (just sometimes a 2x4 would be tactful :D )