All Over the Place

I feel like I am a bunch of people wrapped up into one sometimes. I want to be a good grandmother,but still want to be wild and carefree. I do not feel old and like a grandmother at all.

Sometimes I am so calm I can hardly stand it and others I cannot even sit still. My moods can go from irritable and bitchy to happy in no time flat. A person never knows what they are going to get with me at times.

I can be super creative and very energetic or so lazy that everything just goes to hell. i hate when I am like that because it takes awhile to get caught back up.

Or there are times when one minute I am fine and the next I might be crying over something. Talk about your personality differences!!

cinfullynn cinfullynn
46-50, F
12 Responses Feb 12, 2008

I am exactly the same way. I'm a guy but I guess gender doesn't matter. Sometimes I find myself doing things that I normally would abhor, and do abhor when I come to my senses and feel normal again. Fortunately I am not violent or anything like that. Good luck to you!

I hear you there.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder and I somewhat act very similar. I also have PTSD.... possibly complex. I am violent and I fear killing someone else or myself. Hospital or Jail...take my pick. I am on a mood stabilizer and a seizure medication. I do not have seizures but my impulse control is weak to useless. It is good that you are recognizing that seeking help has been overdue. You love with everything and want to be a part of something. Everything is black and white? It's all or nothing? Depression? I can't diagnose and I won't even attempt to pretend that I have a real answer. For myself, I am willing to take medications that work for me and no bad side effect. I don't blame you for feeling like you are being suppressed. You want to feel like you again. I can relate.

are you a gemini..?

Oh I am bipolar all right. I am on medication now that controls it pretty well but it also supresses my personality.

I understand what u r saying doorclosed. I am a different person depending on who I am

My moods seem to be controlled for the most part....thank God. And being a grandparent is so rewarding I do wish that chance for you someday.

you sound ok and active unless it is a problem in your life. Among other things I am a pharmacist and every 20th presc<x>ription is for something to control mood swings. At least you are active and have moods and none appear real bad. If they are only you can be the judge(or people around you) and seek help. I guess part of me wishes I were a grand parent. Who knows if the child would be close enough geographically for me to be in their life.

it's called bipolor disease. good luck controling it. i can't control mine. the meds don't really help either.

Yea, it is difficult to say the least but I do not hate myself for it....=P

sounds like me<br />
<br />
it's hard, really hard, super duper<br />
that it makes me think of running away<br />
i hate it, i hate me, i wanna b different---normal..

You sound like a very complex person.