That Emptiness In Your Core

I don't know when it started, but I feel like I've been searching for "something" for a very long time. When I'm alone, I get this feeling something's missing...something has left a hole inside me. Being with friends or family fills that hole temporarily...just temporarily.

Maybe it's religion? I once was pretty devoted. And all my Christian teachers/leaders kept saying people around the world will forever search to fill that emptiness within them until they find God. Well...I thought I found God. Didn't quite was more like delusional denial of all things that don't make sense within the context of the religion. Stepping out of the religious bubble has felt like opening my eyes for the first time.

Maybe it's my soul mate? I've never gotten too close to anyone in my life. I would say I don't actually believe in unconditional love. I think "love" makes us even more dependent on something external to us for happiness. Heck, that's what happened to me the last time I thought I was falling in love. He took me on one rough emotional roller coaster. Although I've been left emptier without him, I am freer.

What else is there? A career? Passion? Success? Believing in something? Fame?...the list could go on. I keep feeling this urge that I need to drop everything and go on some year long journey.
raynna raynna
22-25, F
1 Response Apr 19, 2012

The only way to know whats been lacking is by trying stuff.<br />
Whether its a meaningful relationship, or a passion for success and achievement or, adventure.... whatever it is, you wont know until you go out there and give it a try.<br />
And just like that, you will find one thing that you will love doing more than everything else.<br />
It will give you utter satisfaction and happiness.<br />
You will know, this is it, when you would want to keep doing it for the rest of your life and never get tired.