That Emptiness In Your CoreI don't know when it started, but I feel like I've been searching for "something" for a very long time. When I'm alone, I get this feeling something's missing...something has left a hole inside me. Being with friends or family fills that hole temporarily...just temporarily.
Maybe it's religion? I once was pretty devoted. And all my Christian teachers/leaders kept saying people around the world will forever search to fill that emptiness within them until they find God. Well...I thought I found God. Didn't quite work...it was more like delusional denial of all things that don't make sense within the context of the religion. Stepping out of the religious bubble has felt like opening my eyes for the first time.
Maybe it's my soul mate? I've never gotten too close to anyone in my life. I would say I don't actually believe in unconditional love. I think "love" makes us even more dependent on something external to us for happiness. Heck, that's what happened to me the last time I thought I was falling in love. He took me on one rough emotional roller coaster. Although I've been left emptier without him, I am freer.
What else is there? A career? Passion? Success? Believing in something? Fame?...the list could go on. I keep feeling this urge that I need to drop everything and go on some year long journey.