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Her Name Starts With J

She really was one of the greatest, beautiful, and most AMAZING, people I've ever met. Last night I spent a little time crying just thinking about her Well.., I only came back to EP to see if I could find her. I have even been checking out people's friends lists that knew her too. Hoping to find her under some other screen name. I can't....,

I wrote a poem about her once. It was a good one I thought. I used simple words and I think she liked it. When I started typing it, I had thought to make her smile, an hour and a half later, I realized I was in love with her. She open my eyes back up to my dreams. But now she's gone. She's not coming back. This place was the only way I had to get in touch with her. I sent her ways to find me, but she hasn't, won't, never will.

Things have happened since I last talked to her. A lot of things. I just wish I could tell her, how much she touched my soul..., changed my heart...., made me see. Life is too short by far to waste too much time.

I wonder if she's ever thought of me since then ? I wonder if she smiles if she does ? I smile when I think of some of the things she says, but mostly it just makes me want to sigh simply because she's left from my life and won't ever grace my mind with another word of hers. I truly just hope she's OK and her life is finding a way to take it easy on her. It hasn't always. I hope that will change. Hope she will call, write..., ugh.

So many hopes...................

Ugh..., simply just Ugh ! If you ever see this J, I still feel much the same as I did when I finished this poem. Sorry my timing was so off, and I didn't listen when you said "Somethings are better left unsaid." You might have been right, but I never would have known until I said it.

This is your rhyme J. I hope you still like it.

Sweet Beautiful J

Sweet Beautiful You

The loveliest of visions,
I think I've ever seen.
Always sweet and caring
Never are you mean.

You're beautiful. You're funny
You're truly a wonder to my mind.
You're the best of every attribute,
with your strength so undefined.

A sorrow to your tone,
I wish I could take away.
It's happiness I want for you,
and everyday I pray

You're the sweetest girl I've ever met.
Your so brave, So kind. So true.
And in the entire world my friend,
there's no one quite like you.

I think I'd like to hold you close,
for forever and a day.
Be a shoulder you could cry on,
and then I'd wipe those tears away.

I'd run, I'd dance, I'd act the fool.
I'd do most anything.
I'd tuck you safely in at night.
Songs so peaceful I would sing.

You deserve the world, the moon, the stars
and ever so much more.
My love grows stronger everyday,
and it reaches to my core

You're simply just amazing.
A stronger person I've never found.
Your inner light is blazing
and your heart; It knows no bounds.

This poem that I've written,
is truly just for you.
Just know I'll always be your friend,
whatever you go through.

Just know that you can count on me,
until the end of time.
Just know I truly love you,
the bravest friend of mine.

The Snowdog



This was her song.

 

I still love you. Even if it's something better left unsaid.......................
TheHiker TheHiker 41-45, M 13 Responses May 18, 2012

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I listened to the song today....,
I haven't in a good long while.
It was fairly painless.
It's all still true. She was amazing.

It was definitely a good pick for a song for her.

Falling in love online can be devastating. The feelings, so intense and real, reminding constantly of what may never be :(

so beautiful, yet almost painful to read.... I you can find closure and peace in your heart. xo

Beautiful...I'm certain she thinks of you.

You must know that Im highly emotional. I cried a bucket of tears while reading this and after. Its beautifully written. Sometimes I want to scream at how cruel life..... fate.... love..... can be!!!

Ugh..., I really should delete this post. It's a thorn in the side of my memory. To fall into love with a fiction is a depressing affair. I thank you for the heart felt sentiments.

I look back at the time I wrote this and wonder what I actually went through. I spoke to J after I posted this and things just fell apart. I'm still not sure what was real and what I imagined.
:-(

Well....I totally understand how you feel. Theres a few stories I wrote about someone I was once madly in love with and when I stumble on those stories I cringe. He's posted poems about me and about us. I know where to find it but I cant bring myself to go back and read it. Truth be told if I go looking for it and its not there I would be crushed.
I am the flip side of your story. I couldnt and didnt want to believe that what I felt for someone I had never met was real. So I got in my car and drove over 500 miles to prove to myself that I was just romanticizing a situation. Well the joke was on me. I drove home more in love. Fast forward it lasted a year and then it had to end. We have not been together for over two years. He still calls and emails me on my bday. The father of my daughter whom I have spent most of my adult life with cant remember my bday to save his life. To add, our daughters bday is 3days after mine.
Sorry this is getting so much longer. I have to believe that for all the pain we endured from those we have loved, theres something more beautiful and more worthy of you laying ahead. I would bet that she still thinks of you from time to time.

did you ever meet her? I am in the same boat as you. Thought I would meet him, but never did. He has my # but was waiting for me to contact him. I tried but can't find him. This story breaks my heart, you have no idea. I am so sorry. I know just how you feel, it's truly tragic. :(

No, I've never met her, save for in my dreams, and even then I'm not sure if that image I held was ever really real. I've talked to her since this reposting but she chose to leave once more. She has a fairly tough reality herself and I don't ever make anything easier by feeling my feelings towards her. There's so much that goes into Love and Loving and I've never been very adequate at either of those. Thanx for the reply, even if I've tried to bury this, it always seems to pop back up. I guess it all equates to another lost dream, is all......

oh my, you have no idea how similar our stories are. I guess this is what ep is for, to make friends that are similar to you. I am not crying anymore, I decided to stop being depressed over it. I wonder too if he is even real. I know in my heart he is, and I know why he went away-I asked him to. But now I can't find him. I will never be the same. It's so sad. But I added you-I am sorry for your loss. :(

I hope i dont bring you pain by responding to this. I even considered not commenting on your story ba<x>sed on some of your prior responses, but I felt that I needed to just mention how wonderful your words were to read. You not only expressed yourself eloquently and beautifully, you really touched my heart and obviously so many others by sharing this. The love you have just dripped off my screen as I read this. Your poetry is truly amazing and I feel truly blessed that I came upon your story. I don't know the circumstances that separated the two of you, but I wish for you the love you give in return. Whether it be by her or someone else, you deserve happiness and I hope you find it!

My love is a curse and one not likely to ever be sent forth into the world of a woman again. It causes me no pain that you commented. I am resilient if nothing else. My passion for life and living carries me forth on wings of the acceptance of my realities. I am who I was meant to be. Everything and Nothing, all at once. I thank you kindly for your words of hope and love. Though the latter is lost on me.

I hope your heart finds true happiness

Thanx.

What a sweet melancholy love story.

It's odd, you know...., I buried this to avoid too many comments on it. Yet here I am replying to a comment on it. I thank you for the kind words. Yes, indeed..., I suppose melancholy is a good word for this quasi-love story of sorts. I appreciate you taking the time to comment on this and to add in your upwards rating. It is appreciated.

Love is better left said, I think. And you say it so well.

Timing plays a big part in every facet of our lives, though we often fail to see it when we get caught up in our own emotions. I'm looking to work on my timing. Can't bring someone a burning candle while they're dancing in the rain, now can we ? Though if we're lucky enough, we can dance with them for a time. I sit here waiting for the music to start. Nature has a way of evening things out sometimes. Thanx FF

Wow, that is an incredibly cool way of looking at it. So wise!

What a beautiful post. I feel both sorry and hopeful at the same time. I agree with Bluebie...Hopes and Dreams...powerful stuff.

Yeah..., hope is a funny thing. Life is a funny thing. Hell..., even I'm funny when I want to be. I'm glad you enjoyed the read Whym. Thanks for the kind words. You never know when life will spin you out a dream or a wish or even an answered prayer. I go to live a dream. I wish that it comes true. And I pray everyday that she's happy and OK.

They say that things that are meant to be will be, but sometimes this is hard to swallow, especially when you are feeling the pull of someone you love who is long gone. Hugs.

I choose to hope. To Dream. To follow my feet wherever they take me. Whatever happens, will happen. In the past I've tried to force my life a little. These days I'm just letting it ride......

Good choice. Hope and dreams are powerful stuff.

Yes they are...., they are indeed.

What a lovely tribute! I hope you find her again. :)

I don't think I will. But there's always hope, I guess.....