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The Puzzle The Enigma

Something's missing. It always has been. I think no one really knows me. The ugly parts are pretty hidden. I don't like them, but I admit that they are there. I don't trust anyone. I want to trust, desperately. I want to show all my hidden desires and weirdness and to be celebrated and loved by someone. I think I'm getting closer, but I'm afraid. What if I'm wrong? What if I give myself this way and they turn away or say that they really didn't mean that they loved me. I feel like a whiner and a coward.
some2soon some2soon 41-45, F 6 Responses Jun 13, 2012

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You have no self confidence, and that is not easy to change. Nobody is perfect. You have to trust to people, and open your heart to them. If they make fun of you, it's their problem, not yours. You have to be yourself. Never think what other people think about you. They talk anyway, some good, some bad things. You have one life, don't waste it. Just enjoy it!

Hey, I felt the same way when I was 5 y/o only to find out @ 16 y/o that I was adopted. Do u think that's a possibility for you?!?

You're definitely not whining, I think you just need to change your mindset. Easier said than done, but trust me I've been there and still its a battle to constantly tell yourself things will get better. However, when you focus your energy on doing something, anything, whether taking a walk or a class, you feel better, even if its for an hour or two. It's important to not trap yourself by overthinking everything and seeing the situation in black or white. Point is, you have to get to know yourself before you can let someone in to your life.You have to be comfortable in your skin before jumping into a relationship with someone. Learn to appreciate your uniqueness, might seem weird to others, but that is what makes you the amazing person you are!

everyone has a side like what you describe, and if they have been hidden successfully so far, let them be that way, opening up isnt going to serve any purpose,........ at best find someone who has no vested interest , a friend where you can share such but it is extremly difficult to find, and then if people knowing those sides is only going to cause trouble why not just keep them inside but not tlet them impact your psyche............

we ALL want to be accepted and loved as we are , warts and all.

There are no ugly parts...just different ones. Everybody gets scared sometimes, that's pretty normal, and if they turn away.....they just weren't the right one. :)

Good answer

Thank you!

Maybe you're not weird. What's the worst that can happen?

The worst? that I will be proven right--that I'm too weird, too odd to be really loved.

I don't believe that to be true. You just fear rejection. Be yourself.

thank you both