So Suffocated...

I felt so suffocated in my last relationship. It was like I was being physically held down and smothered with a pillow. I couldn't breathe and nobody understands.

When I finally got up the courage to end it it was all my fault in the eyes of others. He was perfect. He adored me, he was gentle and kind and ridiculously sweet but I just couldn't take it. I don't want perfect. I can't be perfect. Every message, every phone call, every time we met I felt like I was gasping for breath. So I tried. I put a little more distance between us, but then the real problems began. He texted constantly, called constantly, touched more, confessed his undying love again and again. Everything I didn't want to hear right then and suddenly I wasn't just gasping for air anymore. I couldn't breathe and no matter what I said he just wrapped me up tighter and tighter until I cracked. I had to end it.

So I broke his heart. I'm the b**ch. I'm the cruel, caustic woman.

But he, he trapped me. Tied me so tightly that I'm pretty sure I'm never going to manage a long term relationship again.

He's the reason I can't let anyone close.

Yet nobody can see it.

Because I'm the bi*ch in this situation.