If Just One Thing Or One Area Would Be Okay

Hi Prayer. I understand. I feel the same way sometimes. My kids are older and don't need me as much anymore. I have a job I like but feel trapped to a point also. I need to make the first move. I've decided to commit myself to a volunteer position in a place I truly believe in about 5 hrs a month. I know from the past that I'm my own worst enemy. I have to pick up the phone and get out and do things. I get invited everywhere and half the time I don't go. Maybe this will help you too. As the person before me said-babysteps. Remember,God helps those who help themselves. That said-God Bless!

Hi, I'm so sorry you are feeling so trapped, no wonder you are depressed, I felt depressed after reading your post. My initial response is that you need to plug in - that may sound simple enough, but I realize and have friends who find this difficult to do. But, find something that will draw you out of yourself. Go volunteer at the nearest Children's hospital, hold babies, babysit for parents who have to leave the children to work, etc., read to children, play a game with a sick child * or * find something else you love. Perhaps you can volunteer for a homeless shelter, or food bank or maybe you can head up a ministry at your church. Or perhaps just join the choir, visit the elderly (my uncle saved every bud vase he could find and took roses from his garden every week during blooming season to as many shut-ins as he could - perhaps get flowers that are wilting from florists and give them out). Give your time to the Salvation Army, sort presents at Christmas!

There are as many possibilities as you can think of and by helping someone else or making them smile - you wouldn't believe how wonderful and uplifted it will make you feel. Get outside of yourself and your comfort zone and I know you'll feel so much better! Don't knock my advice untill you've tried it!!! You'll find God in your work as well!! In everything you do glorify the Lord, he is worthy of praise :) It's a simple thing really, just a slight shift of perception.

Also, it sounds like you could use daily affirmations, I know, I know, brings to mind Stuart Smiley and sounds ridiculous, but if you say outloud daily affirmations to yourself as you shower or as you get dressed and pray - you won't believe how that will affect your life and attitude. Sometimes we tell ourselves the wrong things so long or perhaps someone else told you the wrong things that you've lost your way and have started believing the lies. You have to "reprogram" your mind.

Life is good and worth living, and when you step outside of yourself and broaden your horizons, life will be glorious! Try it out and Godspeed. Don't give up yet, the best is yet to come!!!

You drive the your life - take action, don't keep driving down the same path.

Blessings, Shellye

I know this may sound crazy but it sunds like your fighting a battle by going up stream. In this life we are meant to go through all the things you have explained so we can appreciate what we really have and to learn to let go of all the things which bind us, to fear is to change things and thats important as also to want what we already have and to let things in life you cant change be as they won't change, but we have the power to change the things that we can change.
So get a new job get your career back on track, go for herbal medicine and get out and meet new people through volunteering or new clubs . Good luck!! Stay strong

Remember that God is inside each of us. You can work with it or go against the grain. You must love yourself, and everything falls into place. If you were in charge of a child you cared for deeply, what would you feed it? Would you ever lie to it? You are that child. Treat yourself like your best friend.

It sounds to me like you are lonely. Perhaps if you were to find to find a life partner everything else would fall into place. Good luck.

I can relate to what you said. Unfortunately the way i got myself out of my mind and analyzing so much and i was very introverted and shy and never really experienced normal social situations and was very sheltered growing up so i know what your talking about. The way i got out of my head though was using drugs and alcohol and that led to addictions and obviously wasn't the answer but im sure there are more postive ways to get out of your comfort zone so that you can learn and grow into the person that you would like to be and the relationships you would like to have. sometimes you just have to take chances and not worry about what ppl think about you because they are probably not judgeing you as bad as you think if that's an issue. but its about learning how to be comfortable in your own skin and learning that just opening up to people and being yourself not how you think you should act but what's really on your mind and be open and friendly and step out of your comfort zone i feel that is the best way to start to change things about yourself that you want to change for the better as far as social situations.

Why don't you just grow a pair of wings and fly out of there?
That's pretty much what it sounds like when people give me advice.

If you're old enough to have a job and live alone, it's probably not something you can solve within yourself.
Still, the answer is probably out there.
Visiting a place like this was a good instinct.

You have access to the internet. Just start googling words that make sense to you.
Just giving your problem a name is a huge relief, and can often lead to a real solution.
The stuff psychology and medicine have come up with lately is amazing. (Hint -- ignore anything that's over a year old.)

For me, the answer came when I discovered the concept of Asperger's Syndrome. (See wrongplanet.com) It's like the whole world has opened up and everything suddenly makes sense.

Good luck in your quest for the "explanation grail" !!!

Yeah the hard part about advice is sometimes you feel like people are invalidating you or how you feel. So then it's hard to take it in. So I appreciate everybody's comments but there are a lot of things going on right now that make things harder. I think my issue is actually depression because I am involved in stuff. But I had a lot of close friends move away....I live in a small town that's pretty much a revolving door community. Plus there are only limited ways to get involved here and I commend myself on the things I do do. Not that I shouldn't do more, but I have found doing lots of things doesn't necessarily guarantee real connectedness and it is real honest to goodness connectedness I crave. I am wired to need strong emotional connection and I don't think that is so easy to find these days. I do have a strong emotional connection with my Dad, but he is losing his battle with cancer and I know that has colored my world tremendously. He knows Jesus so I know he will go on to a better place, but I will still miss him. So all you joyful charismatics out there, hush. I am allowed to grieve the loss of such an amazing man in my life. I love my Daddy very much. I don't want him to leave quite yet. But still it is also hard to watch him struggle so hard with life right now...breaks my heart so I am torn by my desire to keep him and for my desire for him to be finally free.

So all that being said, I do appreciate the concept of baby steps (of course What About Bob? comes to mind...heehee). And I am hanging in there. And I think you are right luvthepoinies I do think very few people get jobs they really love. Right now I think God is saying to me...just stay...hold fast. I will wait on him. And Psyduck I found it encouraging to hear how figuring out you had Asperger's opened up your world. That makes good sense to me. I don't think we can white wash our struggles or challenges to make them better. I think if we face them and accept ourselves and the way we are wired and then find ways to adapt to our challenges then that's where the answers lie. I'll have to check out wrongplanet.com. Sounds interesting.

God watch over each and every one of you in both your happy times and your times of struggle.

I understand your agony... I too have a decent job with a decent paycheck... struggling with debt among other things, my salvation is my one night out at the end of the week that I go out. I often think, and say to myself that I've given up and that I've sold out or something to that effect.

My best advice, and of all places is find a hobby, it doesn't need to be something you excel at, just something you can do that relaxes you. For me, it's the daily crosswords. I suck at them, but strangely I find them relaxing. Well OK I do that and read Dear Abby (which is where I got that bit of advice), that column lets me know that I'm not alone in being screwed up, but I'm not all that bad.

Best of luck to you, I know that you'll get out of this slump and find greener pastures.

I can identify. I also have a job (study) that is half gerat half awful and it is similar with my family life. And yes, God seems easyly acceded when among fellow religion members but then I kind of lose it. Still i rthink that the many therapies I tried and the different religions also helped a lot. I learned to make inventories in 12steps, I made analysis and contained my parenting deficit-induced erotic unwanted cravings and in religion I lean discipline that enhances my self respect and so I was able to leave my journalistic jobs and start singing which in turn ameliorated my breath patterns that helped with some illnesses and I also found the gluten (bread with extra opiates) free diet which also helped a lot. So it is worth trying many techniques and some or all will slowly help to change for the better