Feel Trapped

I have been with my other half for almost 10 years.   I've spent the entire time looking after her and giving everything I have to give.  She suffers from depression and has attempted suicide in the past so my time is spent looking out for warning signs in case she tries it again.  I don't complain about it, I just get on with it and do what needs to be done.

Recently it's started to get to me that I have no life.  I don't go out with friends, only keep in touch with one on a regular basis.  I spend all of my time in a chair at home as I cannot work because of her depression, she cannot stand being alone. 

It's not like I want to go out to parties and other things but I do need some space, something I can do away from the house.  I have talked to people online on websites like myspace etc but she becomes jealous if any of them are female and gives me grief over it.  I have cancelled every account on any of these websites despite the fact she is a member of every one I have ever joined. 

The only thing I am "allowed" to do is play games on the PS3 as she enjoys watching some of the games.  That for me is not enough.  I need more, I need  to be able to do something other than sit at home day after day.  I feel like I'm going insane.  I love her more than life but have to ask if this will ever end.

We have children together so I can't simply walk away, nor do I want to.  I just need to have some form of social life.

I'm lost as to what I can do, if I confront her it could cause all sorts of problems but if I leave things as they are I will go insane. 

RandomGuy1982 RandomGuy1982
3 Responses Mar 20, 2009

i had the same problem my wife tried to through her self under a car take tablets you name it my dad gave me the anser he said next time she tryes to take pills take them off her then try and push them in her mouth i said i cant do that i got so down with her so i tried it it worked from that day she stoped i am not saying it would work for you but ?

It's guys like you that I worry about. You have to recognize and respect that you have to take care of your needs as well. Keep in mind you can't be 100% responsible for her, you're doing the best you can! And this is important: DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!<br />
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What kind of help or treatment is she getting? Does she have anyone else besides you to keep as a support? Family? Close friend? She needs to find security in someone else besides you. <br />
I imagine this is placing a huge strain in the future of your children. I hope the best for you! Keep strong!

Sounds as though she's really got you in a spot. You feel responsible for her and responsible for what she mnay do to herself. I was in a similar situatoin with a depressed husband that I felt responsible for...he never attempted suicide though. It was a great relief when he finally left, I would have never kicked him out but I was so happy when he left, it was like this huge weight was lifted off of me. She definitely needs mental help...if she is a danger to herself she possibly could be a danger to the children...I'd get help fast....good luck