Ugly (so Many Others Keep Telling Me)

i don't consider myself the most revolting thing on the planet (that's what i thought toe fungus is for), yet i've lost count the number of times people have felt the need to tell me that i'm ugly - completely unsolicited. one glaring episode was when once i was crossing a street at a set of traffic lights, minding my own business and out of nowhere from a car that had stopped at the lights, these guys yelled out 'hey ugly girl get a makeover, don't be ugly!' it took me awhile to understand they meant me and i shook me up quite a bit because it made me wonder about how overt my ugliness was to compel complete strangers to comment about it out of a car. another time, my housemate at the time made a casual comment on how christina aguilera warbling about being 'beautiful no matter what they say' just didn't ring true, that it should instead be sung by someone like me because i would understand the hardships... again completely unsolicited! it made me feel revolting, and made me wonder that if someone who i get along with can just throw in a casual comment like that (and truthfully she didn't say it with bitchiness just complete lack of tact) what must all these other strangers be enduring having to see my ugly face??? should i be wearing a paper bag over my head???? i've also had people that i had a good working relationship with wince at photos that featured me in them ' whoa! break the camera lens will you!'. more recently an old colleague felt the need to tell me that it was just as well i had a phone interview for a job i had applied for because they didn't get to see my face. this was a comment from someone i thought i got along with, not someone who would be out to cut me down. so to hear these things from people i thought would be on side with me, makes me seriously wonder what people who aren't on side with me must be thinking when they lay eyes on me. When i get lousy service in a restaurant or a store, is it because they don't like the look of me? when i don't get invited to things is it because my ugly features bring the atmosphere down? it sounds crazy & paranoid but after hearing it more than a few times, i really do start to wonder. logic & common sense would say that no one other than yourself has the ability to affect the way you see yourself, bu. t once you start hearing it over & over & over again, its quite hard to think otherwise.  After awhile you just don't know how you can pick yourself up again to keep going. All i know is that I have my very dark moments from time to time.

minimez minimez
3 Responses Feb 13, 2009

i'm sorry that people are so mean to you with their words. i do understand how you feel. people do making others uglier so they could feel better. i don't feel THAT ugly but toher people do make me feel uglier.<br />
and people who keep telling you are beautiful and such (yes i know they mean well), they aren't really helping sometimes.

First of all, baby girl, a group of guys yelling anything at you out of an automobile doesn't deserve even a fleeting thought. Here's why: <br />
1.I was walking with my gorgeous friend in between classes last week when a gaggle of teenage turds in a Volkswagen yelled something to the tune of, “Hey, ugly ho in the pink! Get your a** out of the street!” It is an undisputed fact that this girl looks like a Barbie doll.<br />
2.I've witnessed, on several occasions, groups of boys whistling and hooting at my neighbor Shayla, who is smokin' hot, yes, but actually not a woman. <br />
3.I jogged by a bar last night and two or three drunk einsteins began a chorus of, 'Baby Got Back.' Now, I'm 5'6'' and 100 lbs. because I'm the unlucky recipient of my family's skeletal, emaciated genes. Where is this back they speak of? It doesn't exist. Have another beer, Bobby! Lambda Chi rules!<br />
<br />
People are idiots. Especially when they are young, bored, and in groups. I'm sure they didn't even actually get a good look at you, and they probably yelled the same thing at numerous women as they continued their journey to smoke pot at the skatepark or whatever uberproductive endeavor they had planned that day.<br />
<br />
As for your friend commenting on how you should understand the lyrics, 'you are beautiful, no matter what the say...' it possible she was referring to the fact you've mentioned people SAYING you were ugly when you're not? She might not have actually been saying she personally felt you were unattractive. Your coworkers were most likely kidding. I understand how easy it is to become paranoid when you don't FEEL pretty, but the fact of the matter is that feeling makes you see and hear things through a filter. i hope this helps.

Don't worry about them, beautiful. :) They don't know what they're talking about.<br />
<br />