My One Sided Relationship

I'm exhausted
physically and emotionally drained
I have given all of me, and I have gotten nothing back

I have a boyfriend right now, who i really do care about
He's at a really rough point in his life right now,
so To deal with it, he's drinking almost everyday

And I dont want to hold it against him, because I know he cant help the situation he is in,
but his issues are leaving me neglected...

I take care of him when hes drunk
keep him hydrated, clean up after him, give him advil

and in return I hardly get a thankyou

When he is drunk He's all over me.. tells me he loves me, that I'm beautiful, cuddles me, kisses me, fools around, gives me backrubs

when he's sober, we barely hold hands

It makes me feel like he's only attracted to me when he drinks
I feel completely unvalued

like I could walk out of his life tomorrow and he would hardly notice.
Im terrified that I am replaceable to him.

But i stay with him because I hope someday I can prove to him that I am irreplaceable.

I feel like maybe if I left him he would realize that he took me for granted
but my biggest fear is that he wont text me the next day and beg to have me back in his life.
Then I will realize that all my time and energy was wasted on him,
NeverBeenKissed93 NeverBeenKissed93
22-25, F
May 24, 2012