No One Listens.

I wish someone would just sit and listen to me for once. No one seems to really hear what I have to say. I might be able to deal with things better if someone would just LISTEN...especially my mother. It all goes in one ear and out the other with her. And she has always liked to turn a blind eye and pretend nothing is happening. I want to deal with my issues, not bottle them up, and she often tries to palm me off on some therapist, but I've tried that, and talking to them never helps. Mum says that I can talk to her about anything, then when I try she doesn't listen, she yells or she brings up things that have nothing to do with what I'm saying, and causes an argument. She just makes me feel so wretched sometimes. She just does not listen, doesn't understand.

Even when I'm not trying to talk about problems or feelings... if I'm just talking in general, giving my opinion, or telling someone a fact, no one will listen. If they're asking a question and I answer it, they don't take much notice of my answer.  They'll just half-heartedly listen, nod, say "yeah," and brush me off. I never say anything about it, but it really does bother me. A lot of the adults in my life do it, because they think they're superior to me and that I've got nothing valid to contribute - though at eighteen, I'm technically an adult myself. Sometimes they look at me like I'm a young child that they're being forced to tolerate. I think that's wrong, too...everyone deserves to be listened to, really listened to, no matter their age.

Since I'm very reserved and shy, and I have social anxiety, I tend to keep my thoughts to myself. I usually feel like I have nothing good to contribute, nothing interesting to say, that no one is going to care what I have to say. I'm so afraid of being shot down that I rarely ever offer anything up. So people seem to think I don't HAVE any thoughts. That's ridiculous. I do. And people brushing me off as they do doesn't help with these insecurities. The few times I've tried to speak to people, the few times I've finally thought that I have something valid, something interesting to contribute, they pay no mind to anything that comes out of my mouth. This doesn't exactly make me want to speak more. It really is ridiculous to assume that, because someone's shy, they've got nothing on their mind, nothing to say, they're not worth hearing.

I have things to say. I have a lot of opinions. 
You just won't hear them.