It's All My Fault...

Do I feel unlovable and worthless because of my own actions? Yes, I do. Guys never understand my scars or how I feel so ****** about myself because no one can ever get close enough to me. They wonder how I can be so hot and then cold the next minute. I just hate myself, and it presents itself as being a ***** and feeling nothing. I feel so alone ALL the time, and I know I have only myself to blame. I could blame others if I so choose, but I know that's bullshit, no matter what others say it doesn't compare to what I really am. I love to please whatever guy I'm with. but I know they would rather not listen to me, so I shut up about myself and listen to them. I know atter how ****** up they are, they deserve better than me. So I hurt them if I must, and know that they are better off. I am a **** and the only time I feel good about myself is when a guy enjoys what I give him freely and without shame. I am unlovable because I am incapable of love, and wish nights could last forever. I feel worthless and unloved because I feel that is exactly what I should be and am. I can't take much more I go again self pitying and being ******* stupid and worthless. I'm sorry you had to read this, and I'm sorry that once again I bore and probably make you sick. Forgive me, I have shame, but only with myself and the things I do.

pleasegivemeasmile21 pleasegivemeasmile21
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 22, 2009

There was once a princess who was kidnapped and kept in a dark tower. There was no light, there was no hope. She lay there so long that her clothes were rags and her face was filthy. She forgot her name, she forgot who she was. She had to even beg the guards for a morsel of bread, and even their stale crusts she saw as kindness. <br />
But she was still a princess.

you did no such thing. I cant get anymore hurt or sick luckily unless I want truth and I am not sure I could live w/out it but its going to hurf to know