Unloved

I feel unloved. It's one of the worst feelings ever. Its a constant feeling that makes me want to break down sometimes. Always being the one without someone there when you go out with friends. Everybody else shares experiences and has someone for them, but Im just sitting there watching, and nobody knows how much it hurts. I feel like I can't be loved, i don't look good enough and im just too weird. Why would somebody want to be with me when they can have somebody they can connect with more and doesn't repulse them when they look at him. I know people say 'You're ridiculous you are amazing' or 'You have a great personality' or 'Well you have wonderful...eyes' **** that they are saying that you aren't cute enough for them. Everyone preaches about somebody with personality but they really want a guy thats hot. they really don't want to be with you. Im 18, and i've never even had a girlfriend. I have no self-esteem to ask anyone out if id like, ive tried before and you feel like you want to kill yourself when you get rejected. Sometimes I want to just be by myself forever. I wish that id join the army and just be away from everything. maybe just get taken out of the picture. It feels like nobody would notice.
expdjc expdjc
18-21, M
3 Responses Jul 16, 2007

Maxwell hit the nail on the head, Frustration. Only 18,hmmm. You are just starting adult life. Please do not discount yourself.<br />
Just a suggestion - work on broadening yourself- your own interests. Things will fall into place within time.

Sounds like you are feeling very frustrated. I suppose I could say all the typical things like you will connect with someone one day or your young and still have your life's choices ahead of you. I can't say any of those things! I can listen if you want to mail me and I share in a pain that touches your soul and makes life worthless at times. I can be strong for you and you can be strong for the next person feeling this way. That and if you believe in a higher power outside of yourself you can find faith. No I am not preaching religion here. Only a belief that at times when we feel this way we can take those feelings, put them in a bundle and hand them over to a power greater than ourselves to carry them for awhile. I wish you good luck and mail me if you want.

I'd notice.