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A Child Born From Sin, Part II

My previous post was a detailed explanantion on my childhood traumas as well as my life, but in this portion I will be furthering detailing my thoughts on being born from an affair.

A month ago (right before Christmas) my father (who I had been estranged to for most of my life,) told me the truth of my conception in which when I was conceived he was married and my mother was his mistress. I still remember the conversation like if it was yesterday, my dad had told me in such a blunt manner, "Look son, you are a love child, you know that, right?", in which I replied "what are you talking about?", from there my father explained to me about how he met my mother and started an adulterous relationship with her which led to my birth. At the time the news hit me really hard, I started questioning what my father really saw me as, did he see me as his son or his bastard child? Along side that I had this overwhelming idea that my older brother hated me for being born. The woman my father was married too at the time of my birth was my older brother's mother and the reason they divorced wasn't because my father had an affair but it was because a child was born from that affair, that child being me. The mere idea of my older brother hating me because I was born destroyed me, I couldn't stop crying for weeks, I still can't stop crying.
Cerorizo Cerorizo 18-21, M Feb 19, 2013

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