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I'm Afraid

My vulnerabilities are making me feel weak right now. The simplest things could break me. I feel a little bit outside of my body, like I don't fit anywhere. I am uneasy, skeptical and afraid. I don't want to let anyone get too close because I don't want them to know.

I don't know how to get back to me, and I don't know how I've fallen so deeply into my darkness again. I am afraid to venture beyond my protective wall, not wanting to socialize and be free. They will see my weak spots, and I don't want them to take advantage of me. I don't like shutting people out, but I don't know how to let them in right now. I think I'm hurting over the fact that I have fallen backwards, and I don't want to let them see me fail again.

I am so afraid to fail and lose it all...
Lucidblue Lucidblue 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 1, 2011

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Thanks KB...I know you understand. *HUGS*

*HUGS*<br />
<br />
I know I've felt like this (and you know it). Hang in there. It will pass and no matter how far backwards you think you have fallen it is never so far that you can not regain the steps you've already taken. You are growing, learning, and being challenged. It's a crappy, hard, uneasy thing but in the end it is so worth it. <br />
<br />
I fell many times...sigh...MANY times...it hurt alot. Yet, you have to keep your goals in sight. You have to remember what it is you are after. Keep pushing forward no matter what. Don't let anyone tell you different or stand in your way. You can reach those goals. You can succeed. You are strong and powerful and loving. <br />
<br />
I know how hard it is to let people in...gosh, I still have issues with that. But, remember, the people who love and care for you will always be there for you in the end. :)<br />
<br />
*HUGS*