So, it's been 12 days since I last SI. It hasn't been long, but I feel happy for myself.
It's hard resisting all the urges, but what's harder is seeing my partner's face when I tell him I need to SI.

So, 12 days today. I had a really difficult time resisting urges yesterday afternoon, went to bed absolutely exhausted, and woke up happier than I've been in months. I didn't have nightmares last night, so maybe that's a contributing factor (nightmares from the girl we used to live with ODing all the time).

I have my bestie and my partner to thank for helping me through this, even though I'm always not sure how to tell them that I don't feel okay.

I remember all those years ago that the urges do get stronger before they get weaker when you're trying to quit. It'll probably be about two months before they get weaker, and I'm not sure if I'll relapse again. I hope I won't, but I won't hate myself if I do - I know my triggers, but I haven't come to terms with them yet. Thats an issue I'll need to sort out.
Kneetar04 Kneetar04
22-25, F
Aug 21, 2014