I Feel Like Liquid Snake

     Since I was a little girl, about three, iv'e been abused by my family. My former stepfather was schizophrenic and would beat me with a limb from a rose bush while my baby brother laughed. My mother never knew this, but she'd soon play a part in my abuse. He always said he didn't remember doing it. I'm sitting here, crying right now, remembering this. I didn't even remember until a few months ago. I thought it was okay for him to do that. My mother said she'd never let a man hit me, but she didn't and STILL doesn't realize she was doing the same thing.

     When my stepfather left, that's when it started with her. I guess she thought she could take out all her frustration on me, since I could talk and my brother was just an adorable little baby X|. She hit me with whatever she could find and even poured a bucket of bleach on me once. I told the police twice, but she put on such a believable show (and she was very good looking to everyone in my small town) that no one believed me. So iv'e been living with it. I'm 18 ad she still hits me and calls me names like b****,  Wh****. She even hit me with my guitar once, and I have marks where she clawed my arm this morning.

     It doesn't stop there, I was always criticized at school for being fat and my real father (who is a drug addict) did this. They called me the penguin because pof the way I walked. And my mother never comforted me, just made it worse. I was also criticized for liking cartoons at school and at home when I was 11 YEARS OLD! It was hell everywhere I went and still is. I snapped one day and my mother caught me trying to hang myself. Her and the schook coubsekor toojk me to a mental facility. 

     My mother constantly compares me to my flawless brother and even tells me that i'm worthless. And her latest boyfriend got her into the habit of calling me an imbosile and ignorant. 

     i have to escape to this little world in my head full of Metal Gear characters and crazy things like that just to feel like I have friends. I'm tired of doing this and can't stop. I don't want to day dream any more. I want a real life!

xxxxmiseryxxxx xxxxmiseryxxxx
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 10, 2010

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wont me to kill them? jk i no how you feel my step has had his hands arounf my neck...and hes thretind my life "to scar me into behaving he sed" yet he had the syreng ti sedat me with him when he sed it and his pasport to take me to mexico and kill me <br />
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you need to fid someone how will help you talk to the staf at your school or sumthing i may be a stranger but i do care