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I Hate Myself

My parents always made me feel excluded. my mom always made me feel ugly. I was an introvert as a child and never made many friends. Now even though i know quite a few people, i have trouble building meaningful relationships. I've been dumped by all my boyfriends but 1 and I always spend years being single. This confirms to me that I am unworthy of love. Im always going to be lonely and worthless.
PatsyPats PatsyPats 22-25 4 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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My mom did the same to me not only did she abuse me mentally but physically ... I had a life full of chaos and self destruction ... Because I never valued myself I didn't know how ... After 40 years and a near and almost fatal attempt to kill myself for the 4 th time .., I made a call a call gor help the lady at the duicudd hotline knew I was going to do it... She tracked my phone and at 4 am I received a knock on mh door in a very prominent neighborhood the police they agreed to have me volunteer going into hospital because a baker act would ruin my carreer. I thank god for them the hospital the meds ... <br />
I sm free now.. My mother denies all she did to me of course it's convenient for her ... But I forgive her and I realize I was never damaged she was and her lack of self love didn't let her love me ..,<br />
Seek help!!!! Be honest I will be 46 years old un October and this is the first time I. My life I like myself I enjoy living I like the sun the moon and honestly that I can truly love , even my children was hard for me to love ........ U may not be a top model ... But baby when you look at you .. See that top model in you ....<br />
I didn't seal with my mom til I was ready but I do now and I found sympathy for her .. And love for me

Bunkaqunk,<br />
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Thank you so much for your words. Im so glad to know someone understands what I'm going through. After all these years of trying to deal with this issue on my own, I finally opened up to someone who is close to me and I have to say, even though I'm not even close to completely being healed, the support I've been getting has been helping me a lot. Now that I have accepted that I have this problem I feel that I can finally, with the help of people such as yourself and those around me, do something about it to make it better instead of just putting a band-aid over it and hoping for it to magically go away on its own. Thanks, again!

I know that it truly feels hopeless sometimes. Like you are drowning in it. I had the same problems with my parents. I have never felt that I was good enough for them. My mom is always telling me I still need to lose weight or put on more make up or get me a sugar daddy...My father tells me I am a very beautiful woman, I just need to lose some weight. I need to lose about 40 pounds, but I an under 180 and I am not some huge overweight person. I am thinner than both my parents...lol what I am trying to say, is that as hard as it is to not let people, like our parents, effect our self respect, it happens. I am miserable sometimes and feel alone sometimes you have to remember that you have your own life, No one can make your choices for you. It is easier said than done but know you are not alone.

As long as you think you're unworthy, you are unworthy. Try to be confident and believe in yourself!<br />
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When you don't respect yourself, how can others respect you?<br />
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Respect is the basis of any relationship or friendship. So if you don't respect yourself, people will leave, just be yourself and be confident. Real friends will only come when you are yourself and confident! Go for it!