A No Good Hyooman And Furry Fan

I am a furry. a lonely furry. I used to make friends by helping.(as if they really want it) after not too long people i help disapear. they blame me for their problems and go away, or they get some opportunity and go off without notice. i used to look for new friends where ever i went, but now i don't bother any more.(it's no use) nobody wants my help any more.(they wouldn't believe me anyway) and when i try to help myself(if i ever have time to do so) they ask why i waste my time on such things. a few years ago, i found my tail.(mundane hyoomans don't really care) since then, i have experienced for the 3rd time, in my memory, a very strong positive emotion. but with no close/personal furry friends my few happy memories will go unshared.

by my 18th birthday, having been firmly separated from the best and only friends i had at the time,(for the reason of suspected immaturity) i had lost all hope and any reasons for going on with this life. i just go on(unable to end it) doing what people said i should do. once in a while i'll find something i like, and use it to keep me busy for another day. so, i thank those who read the stuff on ASSTR.ORG as well as the furry community for keeping me going since then.

but now i'm sure that there is no magic left in this world, only mundane processes and routines that spiral into nothing, after which people claim to have accomplished something. i don't get it. hard work and effort has for me always resulted in either false praise or indifference. i grow weary of those who pretend to care. if there is a god, gaia, great spirit, or other kind of supreme being, he has surely placed me here only to take up space; to fill some cosmic void; to sit and look pretty. he has surely left me here only as a token reminder of his efforts, or else to rot and fester as a project gone wrong.

i see no ultimate purpose in my life, no road to happiness; only a thousand ways to waste the time i have left until the end comes. whatever waits at death's door will be far more interesting than current poor excuse for a life. i'll not bore you with a retelling of my few happy memories, because if you didn't listen then, i'm sure you won't bother now. i now say goodbye.
(goodbye is way too good for most of those i had to deal with, so !@#$%^&*)
WisperKity WisperKity
26-30, M
Sep 23, 2012