All the time you hear girls talking about their celeb crush and how they want to be with them. I have to say, i had a crush on a celeb once too... and i hate it and love it at the same time.

I worked with him while making a music video. That's how I met him. He's extremely funny and I have to say, good looking too (if you like the black hair; tattoos; piercings etc). From that moment on, the moment we first met, we text each other, both wanting to have sex together. It goes on for 2 years now.

But now... here is the thing I hate. He has a girl. I have a boy. I love my boyfriend so much. He does everything for me. But I'm still into L (I don't want to say his name... but he's a Dutch bandmember if you want to know). It's almost like an addicition.. something you don"t want, but something you still need... it's hard to resist.

Last week I went to his house for the first time. We had sex.. for the third time. But I don't want to anymore. I don't want to be his secret anymore.. someone he only talks to when he pleases. I want to be his girl, or be nothing to him.

But I just can't let go. It's killing me. I feel so alone in this situation, no one understands. Can someone relate?
cjhakke cjhakke
22-25, F
Aug 16, 2014