I Loved Him So Much...

It was a whirlwind of chaos, adventure, and romance between two emotionally-defunct people.  I am an Aquaricorn who has difficulty expressing my emotions.  He expresses all his emotions, usually at the wrong time, to all women available.

I even ended up pregnant...but unfortunately did not keep the child.

He said he loved me.

He said he'd be there for me.

He'd said that before...

     and not just to me.

I don't regret any of the time together, even though he led me on and stomped on my heart with poisoned cleats.  I truly loved him, which was the worst, and best, thing that had ever happened to me.

No one could be my bi-polar, compulsively lying, romantic, and original Gemini that he was.  No one could replace the spots he had in my heart...what's left of it.

It's like a curse.  I'm haunted.

I'm now in a relationship with a Leo whom I adore and will stick by.

But the ghost doesn't care.

ororolebeau ororolebeau
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 11, 2009

I am one of those lying, dysfunctional, cheating Gemini men. Apparently I'm supposed to grow out of it but I can't seem to help it. I was in love with a girl for 2 years, she was head over heels about me and she pretty much figured I was the one. Odd thing is, for the entirety of the relationship I saw our lives from 2 different perspectives. One, I was on the same level as her - I was committed and sure that our love was true, but from the other perspective I could sit back and laugh at the naivete of the whole thing and how silly two people could be. I guess that's a testament to our dual nature? It sucks..

I got a really bad case of deja vu reading your story. <br />
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My ex was a gemini, my first love and completely disfunctional when it came to our relationship, or loving me. I completely understand the feeling of still cherishing the happier times - although it just makes me hate myself for finding good in a man that broke my heart and left me feeling worthless.<br />
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Am sure dont all gemini's are lying, disfunctional, cheating men! ha. Just a pity some of them have to ruin it!