I'm Too Young

I'm only 14 and I never really thought of love. I've never had a boyfriend in my life and I never much cared. When I was 10 I had recurring dreams about a man. A man with black hair and crystal blue eyes. They continued up to my 8th grade year. Then that's when I realized the man was real. He was there in front of us. He was the priest and I felt like I was going to be sick. I tried to avoid him all year until I graduated, but there came a time when I needed someone to talk to about my suicidal thoughts due to so many family issues. He was the only person who could really understand. I stayed after church with him one day, skipping class to take the time to speak with him. I had never noticed how beautiful his eyes really were until I looked at them for a while. I told him about my problems and when I started crying, he took me in his arms and just held me there. I thought it no more than a friendly gesture. Until he leaned down to kiss me. I immediately looked down, shy and nervous. We had several times where we almost kissed but never did... It was wrong. So very wrong... I knew I would burn in hell for it. All year we became so close and when the time came for me to graduate, I had forgotten all about leaving him all year. And now that he's gone away from me... I don't want to continue on... I know I'm too young to have real feelings... I'm just a stupid kid... But I can't do it without him...
HorrificLuna HorrificLuna
13-15, F
4 Responses Sep 10, 2012

You're never too young to be inlove.

See him as a reason to live and be happy. Not the other way round. Because it only goes to tell u what's waiting for you in the future. Because they are a lot of men like him who are available.

I know how you feel in a way.... he was tall, gracious, and wore a black cassock. He's gone now though.

You're never too young to have real feelings. And you're not stupid. It's sad that you won't ever be able to be with this man - not only because he's a priest but the age difference is probably a bit much. But loving someone is not wrong and it should bring happiness to your heart to care for someone and know he cares for you.

aww soo sweet