Sociopathic Soldier

This past year, I moved to Germany to be closer to my mother and her side of the family, I was 18 and ready to take on anything coming at me. My dad had been a US soldier and met my mom in Germany, I always loved the story of meeting someone in Europe, my sister had done the same, ended up pregnant and with an a**hole. I had gotten to Germany and met up with a couple army wives I had met back a couple months, they wanted to introduce me to some friends of theirs since I was single. We went to a wine party and that's where I met him, I was a bit drunk, so all I recalled was he was a total **** when he was signing me onto post, I kept apologizing because i had lost my ID and he wouldn't even look at me. We got back to my girlfriends apartment, so him and her husband left to sleep in the barracks. The next morning, she got a text message apologizing for being rude, he said that hes been having a rough time because his mom had just passed away a couple days ago, and his family hadnt even notified him. I felt so bad at that point, and i completely forgave him. He also promised to come pick me up and drive me back to the gate so i could get picked up. He did so, as we drove along in a pickup truck he barrowed, i looked at him and really was interested, i thought he was so handsome, we got to the gate, he went to shake my hand and i gave him a hug, his face lit up and he said "i really hope to be able to get to know you more" and i told him right away i was sure hell be seeing me around. After that, he wrote me a facebook message letting me know that he was very interested in me, i was so flattered and excited. I went about my life with my German family, and went out to the club every weekend. I got a couple FB messages from him, saying he couldnt wait to get off rotation to actually hangout with me. But it would be another 2 weeks until then. Suddenly i got a message again from him, asking me to go to the military ball with him; i was ecstatic and said of course id go. Thats where the story truely begins, and when i look back, i still cant believe that someone who seemed to love me so much, could actually not love me at all, not care at all. It was all a show, and i fell for every bit of it.

We started to hangout, he was hilarious, alittle dorky at times but i really loved it, he drove 2 hours to come to a festival with me, we walked around holding hands and going on the ferris wheel. I bought him some food, he said he was broke at the moment but would pay me back right away which was no problem for me, we talked. He told me that people had been saying bad things about me around the barracks, and he had put an end to it. I was so happy that he would do that for me, we went back to the car and went on our way back to post where we were going to hangout and sleep at my girlfriends house. As we drove, the sun was setting so beautifully, id never seen the sky look the way it did on that late August day, he had said he had a surprise for me, he made me a CD to listen to on the way home with my favorite band Mumord and Sons. No one had ever done anything so sweet for me, i started to fall for this boy right away. We got back to the barracks, and found out we couldnt stay at my friends because her husband wouldnt allow it.So i stayed with him there, i was really excited but i didnt want to make a mistake and have him think it would be a 1 night stand, i really liked the guy. We cuddled up watching a movie, and he gently grabbed my chin and kissed me, it was perfect. I told him i wasnt ready for sex, and as soon as i did, he started asking all these questions. It ended up that i just gave in, and he ran to get a condom, obviously showing off to the guys outside that he was going to get it in. So we did, and we did and we did over and over that night. I was very surprised by how good it was, because when i said he was dorky, he just didnt look like he had that in him, but i was happy. Fast forward alittle bit, he constantly told me about his abusive family, his horrible childhood, he was emacipated at 16, had cancer at 19, was married to a cheater for 3 months, he finished high school all while working for Ford as a manager, he told me he had never been deployed. I had so much empathy for this guy, i thought he really got the unlucky draw. Nothing good had happend to him, and hed always say, that i was the best thing that has ever happend to him. I felt so special, and i wanted to make him feel the same, at first, i was alittle hesitant, because he moved so fast, after a month he told me he loved me and that same night, threw money in my face and tried to leave me alone in a hotel. I begged him not to leave, only because i didnt wanna be alone but i was already sick of him constantly clinging onto me, and moving too fast. A couple weeks later, he wanted to get married and i said id like to wait and get to know him more, he automatically said that it was because i didnt care about him like everyone else in his life, i was just like his abusive mother. That hurt, so i changed myself quickly because i wanted to show him i wasnt like her, i was so much different then anyone hed ever met, i let him into my life. I let him meet my entire family, begged them to let him spend the nights, he came over and had dinner every single night, i thought it was good for him, since he said he never really had a family. My goal from then on was to make him feel loved, and cared for. This guy went through 3 cars, just to come see me everyday. He drove on the autobahn everyday after work to just see me for 10 minutes. I knew things were perfect, but every once in awhile, hed have a spurt of finding little details to nag on me about, or if i wanted to go out, i was an alchoholic all of a sudden. He told me that he used to sit in his room drinking two 6 packs of Coors light every single night. And i was the alchoholic? But i let it go, i knew his past had something to do with it and i just needed to give him time to trust me. Wed go out with friends, and suddenly his mood would change from 10 to -10 in a half hour, he told me that he had been in an accident with a drunk driver and blew out his knee, and also had his girlfriend and unborn child killed. I was shocked, but he said that he wanted to go home because his knee hurt so badly. So we did, even though i wanted to stay. I did everything he wanted. He started to buy me things, constantly insisting on buying be clothes and food and jewlery. I said no to most but he would get really offended if i didnt accept so i did, i felt loved. I was told by my family that he was too clingy, and they could see it right away. I defended him by saying its because of his past. He would kiss me constantly and it did get alittle annoying at points but i always remembered its because he loves me. We had sex, alot. 3 to 5 times a day if we could find somewhere to go, at first it was a rush and i loved it, i had never had an ****** and he was on a mission to make it happen. He was always horny, and after awhile i started to get tierd of it, i told him i dont want to have sex so much. He came back right away with "ive always been used for sex" and "i just feel so close to you when we do" so id give in, even if i didnt feel like having sex. I knew it made him happy and i was willing to do anything for him.

A month passed, i dont remember exactly how but my girlfriend and him were no longer on good terms, the first car he got was from her and her husband who he told them hed slowly pay them off, he told me hed already given her 700 for the car, and she had said no he hasnt and hes screwed me over with this so now i can afford to buy groceries. He promised that he had payed, he kept saying she was a lier and a cheater and couldnt be trusted, i was kind of stuck in the middle and it was horrible. We all went to Oktoberfest that September, got on the train to see my girlfriend was there who hated my boyfriend, so we sat far away. We all started drinking on the train, getting wasted. He decided to call my girlfriends husband and tell him that she was going around saying he wouldnt be back for a long time or something like that, her husband called her yelling, she knew right away it was him that had called. She stood up and screamed at him "FU** YOU, FU**CK YOU!" i started crying, i was intoxicated and so confused. I sat back down and he told me if i dont go with him, i dont love him. But i had been waiting for months to go to this with friends not just him, so i stayed with them and he said he was done and left. We got off, i cried and cried and they all said i didnt deserve an a**hole like him. My entire day was ruined, he ended up walking around the fest alone, and then calling me saying how could i do this bla bla im done with you and i cried more. It was a mess, one of the worst days ive ever had. I went home with them, and he kept saying how terrible i was for doing that to him. I felt bad but i had friends to tell me that i did nothing wrong. The next day he came and picked me up and admitted his wrongs, but still said i was selfish for leaving him. (when i never did, he got off the train when i begged him to stay) but i agreed and i felt terrible. And so we continued, as i thought to grow in love, we got so comfortable around eachother, he became my best friend. I had decided i was gonna move back to the states with him at his next duty station in December. Then, there was a particular time i remember, when we were together and i started talking about deployment, i told him i was worried hed change when he got back. He flipped out, and said well you know what i already was deployed, i held my best friend in my arms when he died, and i shot a 8 year old kid! i was confused at that point, because he had told me he was never deployed. I said that and he said, i dont like to share these kinds of things with people, dont you understand that? And i guess i did, but i still was starting to question it. I had gotten into his FB at one point and seen he was talking to a couple girls, i asked who they were and he said just friends from home. I didnt worry about it, i did find though a hidden photo album of his basic training graduation in October of 2010.. he told me he was deployed in 2010, so i slyly asked him when he graduated basic again, it took him awhile to reply, he said 2008, which would make him 17. That obviously didnt add up, he asked why and it slipped when i said i was looking at pictures of his graduation, he was confused and i quickly said i saw a tagged photo of him and he said okay. The next hour i looked, and that photo album was gone. He was hiding something, i just didnt know what. Thats when things started to change and i didnt even realize it was happening. I was also looking at his dead moms facebook profile just curious as to what she looked like, and saw she had a update from a month ago.. That was kinda weird seeing as shes been dead for 3 months... So i said something to my girlfriend before i told him i asked her not to tell him, but of course she did and he called me saying is there anything i need to ask him about, and i said yeah i saw your moms not dead. hes like i had no idea, i think my family is trying to say that to get money out of me since they asked for money for a funeral. He was so convincing when he told me this, i believed him of course, how couldnt I? I loved this kid more then anything and to hear someone was trying to hurt him, i right away took his side. We had alot of fun together in Germany, but we also had a lot of fights, always starting from him. I was always to blame, and after awhile i started to question myself and how good of a person i was.

He got sick a week before we were going to go home, a bad eye infection and he was hospitalized, i stayed with him all 5 days of him being in there, took care of him and made sure the nurses did theyre job. After he was released i continued to take care of him. We flew back to the states together, getting in little stupid fights on the way. But we made it, to my sister where i wanted to visit my niece, he got a rental car and we drove there and stayed for a couple days, he got in a stupid fight with me again, then decided to buy me very expensive diamond earing to make up for it. My sister didnt like him at all, but he was very nice and respectful to her, as he was to everyone of my family and friends, except for me. He bought me an Iphone 5, and put me on his phone plan under a 2 year contract. That ment the world to me, it was a commitment, and i was so happy to know how much he cared to do that for me. We flew then to my home town, where i had lived before i moved to Germany, to see my dad and tell him i would be moving to my boyfriends next duty station. My dad and him did not get along right away, and i was so mad at my dad for not giving him a chance. We spend the next week together there, before he had to go to report and then was going to come back to get me and stay for xmas. He left, and i was alittle relieved to have some time apart. The day before xmas, he broke up with me.. twice in 1 day over a couch. I was heart broken, i let it go and my family said i didnt need some *** like him, and i knew that. But i loved him, so i told him id take him back even after he locked my phone, and factory reset it when he didnt get his way. He called me names and said i was a horrible person and had done nothing for him and he wasted tons of money on me. I was so hurt that he couldn't see how much i loved him. This went on, for 4 months. The lies started to unravel, he started to talk differently towards me, he was mean, he broke up with me about 4 more times, one of the times he said he was screwing a girl as he was talking to me, calling me a "fat loose **** that has had 80 dicks in me" i couldnt believe hed say that, he always said he would treat me with respect but it was not the case. he also always had something to blame me for. Hed hear me cry, and then tell me i just want attention and hang up. I kept trying to hang on, and he kept pushing and pulling and i didnt know which way to go.

This has been going on up until about 3 weeks ago, i finally got a message back from his mother who confirmed, everything he ever told me was a lie. He treated his family so badly, and everything that happened he turned the stories around to make himself a victim. I found out he had cheated on me, he told his family we were married and i was a school teacher when i dropped out of high school. He literally, bullshitted every single thing ive come to know and love. I was depressed, severely depressed after that. But i pulled myself up, slowly, got a job and started school again. I was done waiting. I then decided, now i have the proof that he is a liar, manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive. I knew something was wrong but i was so wrapped up i couldnt let go, i finally told him i know everything, he proceeded to say he never lied and im pathetic and he never wanted me anyway. I didnt let it hurt me, i know the truth and theres no turning back now. It was his loss, not mine. I was good to him, i loved him, and i cherished him. I have made mistakes but i have never intentionally tried to hurt someone. He cant say the same, he does not deserve me or my sympathy anymore. I worry for the next girl, because she probably will be like me and believe everything, im sure hell be even better at lying now, and i hope shes smart enough not to fall for it, not to marry him. I dont wish this apon anyone. He is a sociopath, he may never get help because he thinks hes fine, even though tons of people tell him hes not, he is. Know the signs, if you question something, it usually is what you think. Never give anyone your everything, even if they ask for it, even if they promise to never let you fall, dont do it. And dont ever question your sanity or yourself, because crazy people dont question themselves.
Purpleheart94 Purpleheart94
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 4, 2013

Want my **** in u