Realized It All a Little Too Late

Growing up with this guy  "D"  that I have known since I was like 5 years old, we have been literally best friends through everything.. He moved away 2 years ago, and we still keep in contact, but very rarley.  So my freshmann year I really started to realize alot when he started going out with my best friend. I hated it, i actually beat her up over it.twice. Growing up everyone always use to say  things like us getting married, and how in love we were. I dont know if he was, but i didnt think i was. I ended up being wrong. The more i realized that he liked other girls, the more jealous I would get. It was really sad to be honest, i have never been the jealous type. sophmore year He moved, and we still talked CONSTANTLY! everyday for a couple hours, texted every minute of everyday..then, he got a girlfriend. ANd it stopped. So after about 2 months, i met this one guy, and we began dating..A couple months later I get a call from "D" telling me he was coming to town for christmas.. I must admit, i almost had a heart attacc i was so happy to hear that. So he always comes to our house and makes an appearance, which he did this time around. We ended up spending the whole night on the couch talking and ended up  kissing. just one single kiss. What a guilty pleasure. I had also found out he & that girl broke up. But I was with that guy still.. I told "D" i would break up with my boyfriend, but we had both agreed we couldn't work out cause he lived too far away. Soo, I shrugged it off again like maybe my fasination with him was just a faze.. So a year and a half later I am still with the same guy and still talking to "D" every here and there. ANd now he is with this one chicc, who he has been with for i think about 4 or 5 months..Idk..I dont really care. lol... but latley I have been dreaming about him and just super hard core missing him more than ever. like I was just talking to him a little bit ago and he made a remark on how beautiful i was, which he rarely does.. But it made me feel good, but it also confused me hecca. i am seriously stucc, I would immed. leave my boyfriend if me & D could ever work out.. I finally realized I fell in love with my best friend, but it just might be a little too late..

jadedoblivion jadedoblivion
18-21, F
8 Responses May 31, 2008

Not exactly my situation, but I'm hoping maybe I'll be boarding the same train as my best friend at some point...that would be nice...

I know exactly where you are at and how you're feeling!!! It's a terrible feeling!! I honestly realized I loved my best friend too late! It's my fault! Just figure this a one big leason learned! But honestly, don't give up! I will never give up on him!!! Good luck!

If you are in love, end with your other boyfriend.

yep you go and keep.going. like the Mac Truck sing sweet little...

In all honesty it's like a gamble... should you start dating your best friend and break up it could ruin a perfectly amazing relationship BUT should it work out, it would mean a lifetime of pure happiness. No one knows you or understands you the way a best friend does. <br />
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I married my best friend. We were very close friends for one whole year and things slowly started changing. I was so scared something would happen and I would lose our friendship completely... now after seven years of dating and one whole year of being close friends before that... we got married. This was one of the best decision I've ever made in my entire life. <br />
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I would say it's never too late. Go for it. The same thing happened to us... before he and I started dating he liked another girl and I was kinda hung up on my ex but it just happened and we're happy now.

Agree with both comments!! I have a somewhat similar story. I dated a guy named "J" first year of high school, and was head over heels. We broke up because his parents didn't like that he was 4 years older. He moved outta state, and I rarely heard from him. I kept holding on to something I thought we had. After he told me to move on, I found a new guy "N". We were dating for a little over 2 years when "J" came back to town and started working at the place I worked at. After I graduated I broke up with "N" because "J" had told me that he loved me, and so I dated him for a few days, and realized that it wasn't going to work out with "J", so "N" and I started dating. About a month later "J" and I started dating again, and I practically left "N" in the dust. "J" and I dated for almost a month, and that's when I had realized that it wasn't "J" I needed to be with, but "N". So I took about a month off from guys period, and in November decided "N" I wanted to date, and we've had no problems since November, and we're heading on 3 years. "J" and I still talk, but I now realize a little too late, that all I had to do was take some time away from guys period, instead of going through this emotional roller coaster, at the end of my senior year. This would have prevented the lack of trust that I now can't get back from both "J" and "N." Time solves answers to just about everything. Good Luck!

Southernsing is right! It's not fair too continue loving someone when you know there's someone there you love more. It's like holding on to something just so you don't have nothing. I felt the same way... read below. It was not fair to continue loving my current boyfriend when I was questioning my relationship with my best friend. <br />
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This sounds like me 4 years ago, only roles reversed. we were the friends who our entire family, both families, said would end up getting married. I was dating this guy from NY and was planning on moving to be up with him. I sold my car and was getting ready to apply for my NY teaching certificate. My "friend" Sean starting saying many weird things, like the compliments and all. We were so close that we used to go away and sleep in the same bed, even when we were dating someone else, but that's how close we were. One night i felt a hand upon the small of my back, but didnt' know what to do with it. I ignored it and pretended nothing happened and continued my relationship with my current boyfriend. It wasn't until a few weeks later that the compliments started coming on stronger and he actually told me he would be upset with me if I moved. He said that he would resent my current boyfriend for taking me away from him. I started putting things in place and realized that whoever I was with, they were not Sean. and no matter who I was with, they were always compared to Sean, but I thought that was normal when you had a male best friend. Boy was I wrong. It's 4 years later now and we are now 87 days into our marriage. I married my best friend and am grateful everyday for the guts he had to tell me. He is my sole mate and I am the luckiest woman on earth.

Hmm, I think that if you know you are in love with your best friend that you should break things off with your boyfriend. First of all, it isn't fair to him, and the longer you wait to break up with him the more it will hurt, so be kind and do it soon. Secondly, "D" might think you like your boyfriend more than him, and as long as you're with him, "D" may not feel he could act on any feelings *if* he still has them. If you are available he may clue in a bit.