How I Wish The Impossible Was Possible

It started when I was in Middle school I was the awkward girl who never really fit in.... this was my first time in public school before that i was in a christian school. I was short chubby blondsih brown hair and muddy eyes. i dressed like a guy cause it was just easier to stay invisible that way, I was always reading and constantly picked on because i lived on a farm and i wasn't in the in crowd. He was in 8th grade at the time when i first met him he was a bad boy blonde hair blue eyes tall and i was certain i had no chance with him, his name was Jeremy. Jeremy and I rode the same bus and lived 3 miles away from each other and 27 miles away from the nearest store. Since we lived so fa away from everyone else we went to school with me and Jeremy became fast friends, he became my bestfriend i would tell him everything and he would do the same with me. We stayed this way until he went to high school the next year, that year was also when Jeremy moved away and got into alot of trouble.

By time im in high school i am now 5ft 8" skinny athletic build brown hair and the same muddy brown eyes. its been two years since ive seen Jeremy and last i heard about him he was selling drugs and was fighting and has been arrested. My first day of my freshman year im walking from class to class and i see a familiar blonde head, I swear to myself its not him it cant be but it is. i dont think he will recognize me but he does and im the happiest girl in the world! we have both had our share of relationships and we were always ok with each other dating. well that is until my junior year i fall for this boy one of jeremys friends and i fall for him hard i was in love and no one was gunna change that. after being wih this boy for about 6 months things go from good to bad when he freaks out on me for no reason for the next 3 months of that relationship i spent everyday crying holding Jeremys hand and crying cause i had no one else who understood me. Jeremy and i finally decide its best for me to break it off with this kid so i do and i am miserable for the next 3 months but Jeremy still is there with me making me smile making me laugh live. i soon realize i cant be happy unless im talking to him or im around him. i also start realizing i hate every girlfriend he gets and they hate me because im in his life and i wont leave..... by this time im in the summer of my junior to senior year and im 16 still and Jeremy is 19. my parents have decided they didnt like Jeremy and that i am no longer aloud to see him, I have decided i dont care what my parents think i love him i will see him. one night that summer i was feeling unusually risky so i called Jeremy and asked him to come over you see my parents were out of town they were in the Bahamas on a cruise and left me and my sister home alone my sister was over at a friends that night and i was lonely. i wanted jeremy. he came over at bout 11 we spent the night in my front pasture sleeping atlking about memories weve made and looking at the stars i decided then and there i wanted Jeremy to be my first and i was going to have him as my first. So we did under the stars we had sex for the first and what was the last time it was amazing he was my weakness i loved him with everything i was and i will always love him.

Its been about 7 months since that night and me and Jeremy are still bestfriends, i am now 17 i still love him with my entire being but i havent seen him in 2 months thanks to my parents and were he lives. my parents are trying to get me to date my friend joey and i dont like him like that but he is head over heals for me i told him i dont want a boyfriend cause i need to focus on my senior year and he understands that, but thats not the only reason why i dont want to date him. Joey is a amazing guy sweet funny and would be a great boyfriend to any other girl but me because Joey deserves a girl that can give him their heart but i can n longer give what i dont have because Jeremy has my heart. Please help with any advice you have im so alone without Jeremy and Joey makes me smille but i doont love him.....
raebabygirl raebabygirl
18-21, F
Dec 15, 2012