This is how we started.
"Heyyyy. What are we supposed to be doing again?"
"Listen in class! You shouldn't have to depend on me for EVERYTHING!"
"Well, you always explain it wayyy better than her anyways!"
"Oh, fine. But this is the LAST time, okay?"
He gave me a cute, silly nickname. I called him annoying, stupid, and lots more. I had absolutely no romantic notions back then. I was just the studious, geeky bookworm. Nothing else. The quarter long class passed by quickly and I found myself missing his silly nickname. I missed lightly slapping him on the arm with my cheeks ablaze.
Summer came and went.
We were into the next year of school. I made a new best friend, and we started spilling secrets. She told me that she liked him, that she liked him sooooo much, that I started to help her. I would walk with her when she walked with him and tried to get his attention, while all he obviously wanted to do was good off with his friends. Eventually, she gave up.
Spring break came, and we all went to the park; me, her, him, and his friends. At this point, she liked another boy, and to everyone's amazement, he asked her out! They started dating... But it only lasted 4 days.
Back to school. "You guys broke up ALREADY!?"
"Yep! C'mon! Let's go!"
"Oh, uh, okay"
And so we went.
A couple weeks later, I found myself thinking he was attractive, and so we began to text. Then, before I had time to adjust..
"Will you be my flower? Never wilt, and stay in eternal beauty, with me?"
I, of course, having no experience, was flattered, and accepted.
And so, I was dating my best friend's EX.
It lasted two weeks.
It was all her fault, too.
The year ended once again, and that summer, I was rarely home.
I walked into homeroom and look who I see! The stupid boy who never pays attention, in the seat NEXT TO ME. I was, secretly, thrilled, because my best friend had started liking him again. All I was thinking about was "how can I set them up?" and "oooh, she's gonna be so excited!"
Next thing I know, I'm best friends with a bunch of boys.
I loved it.
No drama, easy talking, real friends...
It wasn't meant to last.
A new girl came to our school. I noticed my best friend slipping away, and I was sad, but encouraged her to make another best friend.
On September 1st, 4:17 AM, I recieved the first of two voicemails that would change my life.
They had cyberbullied me.
It still seems impossible to trust, even four months later. They scarred me for life. I can never be as carefree as before, I know the reality of life.
So, I looked for comfort in my guy-friends.
He was so sweet, no matter what everyone else said about him. He was supposed to be "mean, rough, uncaring..." but all I saw was "sweet, nice, funny, and VERY caring..."
I fell for him.
I finally got enough courage to tell him, and what does he say? "Oh... um... I kinda like you too..." *heart skips a beat* "real-" "BUT. I like... Angela more..." Oh, Angela. WHY. You helped cyberbully and RUIN my life, now you have to steal him too? I was heartbroken. "Oh... okay."
And we continued as if NOTHING happened.
He still sent me cute texts, and I still replied with "aww, thanks(;" and we still talked like bestfriends.
"Hey... Um... I like you."
"I know silly(; You told me, member?"
"Yeah, but seriously."
"...You said you liked Angela more..."
"I'm over her. I told her I didn't like her anymore, so that's all gone."
And, again, nothing else happened. Just more sweet texts, and an actual HI once in a while at school.
Then. New Year's Eve. I get a facebook notification.
"Jason is in a relationship with Angela."
I must have sat there for a thousand years, just looking at the new relationship status, thinking about all the times he called me pretty, nice, and all these sweet things; the last time being about 3 days before. How could he just... Change his mind so quickly?
And so, once again, I found myself heartbroken.
It's been about 2 weeks.
2 weeks since my heart shattered, and I started putting on a show at school, of acting happy and normal, crying at night...
Today, a few hours ago, I told him (texting) I was feeling a little depressed, hoping he'd catch the hint and at least say SOMETHING about what we had, (when they had started dating, he hadn't talked to me in three days, and then ignored me for about a week afterwards) but nooo.
"I just feel alone..."
"oh... here. I'll text you first everyday. 365/24/7"
"haha aww! But you don't have to do that, text your girlfriend instead!" (another hint >.>)
"Psh i dont want my BESTFRIEND to feel lonely. ^^" (<--- his exact text.)
"ill make you txt priority number 1(:"
"and make angela #2... but shhhh"
So. he obviously did not catch ANY of my hints.
He still acts sweet, but he doesn't care.
I'm hiding my feelings, saying things like "Jasonn... Go text Angela instead of me<3" and things to make him not feel guilty, but it hurts.
And that's the story of my heartbreak.