"15 Years" Of Secretly Loving My Bestfriend...I happened to watch the movie LOL by Miley Cyrus and Douglas Booth then I suddenly missed my high school days. It was so much like what I had way back then. Those times when I had so much time spent on having crushes with our Varsity pla
I was hoping and praying that what I felt for this person would change too. I did hope that things would turn out MY WAY and I'd be happy, I guess. I am the living proof that first love never dies. I know people would say I am stupid not to understand the situation that he is not meant for me. I know people would say "let go" there are so many fish in the ocean, people would think I am desperate. If there was a cure for the kind of love that I have for him, I would definitely buy "tons and tons" of it. Sometimes it hurts to wait and hope for something that you don't really know if it'll happen or not.
I can say I have mastered my emotions when it comes to loving him. I know my limitations and I know where to stand, always... I trained myself to keep my feelings towards him, since I don't want to lose him even if we'll remained friends forever! It's better we're the best of friends rather than losing our friendship,since It happened once before and it wasn't a good experience.
After 15 years, I can say I am still secretly In love with my best friend. He is married and I am engaged too. I love my fiancee and he is more than enough for me. But I don't know and I can't explain this kind of happiness and completeness when I am with him. I can totally be crazy and be myself. It's like he is my peace of mind and he just fill every empty spot in my life.
I think we both tried to be more than friends long ago but didn't pushed thru because I don't want to fight and break up and lose our friendship. He is one person that can stay beside me wide awake when I needed someone to talk to, he spares time from work and bring me to places that I've never been, he just remembers all my favorite food even my favorite song to sing. He is the only person who knew about my most kept secret fear and he just laughs at it...
As of now, there are still some hopeful moments that I would want him to be more than just my best friend, BUT...
It really is complicated to love my best friend specially when he told me that... "If I were your husband, your mom and dad would be very happy, contented and at peace."
Are there people out there who shares the same experience with me? Or am I the only one in the world who has been loving her best friend for 15 years???