I Wanted to Tell U

i try to tell you
but you dont see.
i saw the glint in your eye
unpredictable and unexpected!
the way you asked me what is it
made me want to tell you the truth
but you'd hate me for it
it would be awkward for us both
as the friendship would feel obligated
the darkness sank in, when i looked at your eyes which were the truth
i missed your presence,
your essence
but you dont care.
im the last thing on your mind,
i know im not worth it
a scary and filthy risk
unworthy, lowly and unimaginable.
our friendship kills me as i look at you
the reason being mine alone
that glint and smirk in your eyes intrigues me,
the way you asked what you asked hurt more than anything.
to think that you think that way of me
made me realize how much we differ and im stupid.
i cant express the way i am,
and
im sorry if i ever caused any hurt or confusion
im sorry i am the way i am
im sorry for my vey existence
im sorry for the anger youve seen
im sorry for everything.