This Is A Bit Too Late.

For the last few years I've being going through a "rough patch". I met a girl a number of years ago who I thought was nice and friendly enough and we became close. But I got scared she was starting to fall for me so I backed off too quickly and hurt her quite a bit. I am sorry for that, if she reads this. God I hope she doesn't...

Anyway, one night, I was on the brink of suicide and I thought of how she would feel if I was dead, we had not talked for some months at this time and it came as a surprise to me that she snuck into my mind. But, obviously, I stopped where I was and didn't think about it for a long time. I told her about this experience and we reconnected. We quickly became close again, though I felt the feeling again, but I didn't mind. We would snuggle and watch tv together in a "non-sexual way".

Well, less than a year ago, we began getting sexual and though I didn't fully understand that this precipitated a relationship, I thought we were just ****-buddies. Of course as she bounced around boyfriends for a while, I convinced myself that I was infatuated with her and finally got the courage to ask her to break up with her boyfriend.

We dated for a while, and  it fell to pieces. I became scared of a serious relationship and she pushed it. I stopped talking to her, started avoiding her. She finally broke up with me because I am such a bad boyfriend. I love her, but not in that way. She wants a relationship. It never could have worked. But we tried and screwed up a pretty good thing.

Now I'm left standing here

Watching her get ****** over by another man

And I can't say anything because she doesn't believe me

Our relationship was hell

Our friendship is sad

Now I'm left standing here

sharpenom sharpenom
18-21, M
Feb 16, 2010