I Love My Best Friend, My Cousin.

I’ve been reading posts on this site for a couple months now. It reassures me that I’m not alone in this situation; others are experiencing a love for their cousin like no other as well. I’ve been in love with my cousin ever since I was little. I didn’t just look forward to Christmas time for Santa to visit and open up a bunch of gifts, it also meant I got to see him when our entire family would get together. I would only see him that once for the whole year and each time we would say goodbye, I began counting the days ‘til the next time I saw him. At the end of my 8th grade year, our aunt got married. After the wedding, my family and I stayed at his family’s apartment. Him and I were the last to fall asleep. It was over 10 years ago, but I still remember cuddling with him. When I was 15, his family got a summer home by the beach. My parents and I went for a visit. I was ecstatic that I would have an entire weekend with him rather than just the few hours for the Christmas party. We smiled and laughed. All in all, we had a great time together. The following summer, my parents and I went out there again. This time my cousin and I stepped over a so-called "boundary". Late that night, him and I walked down to the bay and laid down on the sand unable to see any sky because it was so foggy. We shared our first kiss. We blamed it on our alcohol consumption, yet in my mind I knew sober or drunk, I would have taken that leap regardless. After that summer, we would chat online every once in a while, but I had this feeling that I was more a bother than anything to him. We were such different people, so maybe that’s why we drifted from each other. Over the past few years, we would see each other at family gatherings and we would chat, but it seemed like it was kind of lost. My love for him never left, but I had to push them to the side imagining he didn’t want anything to do with me on that level. This past summer is when everything happened completely out of the blue. By this point, I was closer with his brother…not in love or anything, just best friends status and I had been so busy with work and life, he would only cross my mind every once in a while. I had gotten fired back in August from my job after being there for several years. That day I packed my bags and headed to my cousin’s summerhouse to be with his mom and just get away. I knew he was going to be there, but my head was in a different place due to losing my job. That weekend was so much fun. It was he, his cousin, and I and the three of us were like the three amigos drinking and laughing and just having a lot of fun. I had left, but returned less than 2 weeks later yet during that time I wasn’t around him, we were texting each other pretty frequently. I remember the drive back to his summerhouse. I woke up and left by 6am because I just wanted to see him. Something in me was telling me he needed me more than I needed him. I made great timing and when I got there, I learned he wasn’t working anymore either. We were both unemployed and decided we were going to have a great time! Rather than staying there for the weekend, him and I ended up staying there for 2 weeks together. Some nights we were alone and some nights there was other company, yet we were never apart. It was like magnets were placed inside of us and no one was able to pull us apart. We began to become intimate with each other, but it wasn’t our hormones raging and drawing us to each other. I was opening up something inside of him that was lost for so long and he was doing the same for me. Every day we went on an “adventure” rain or shine. At the time, I had never felt so alive and so happy and it was all because of him. In just a moment, I knew he was the one I wanted to be with forever and ever. I headed back home, yet him and I were texting non-stop, from when we woke up ‘til we fell asleep. For a few weeks, I distanced myself. I was unsure of what he was feeling, so one day I just told him I was confused with my life. He told me that someone like me should never have those feelings; that I’m the most amazing, most kind person he knew. I spilled my guts to him and told him every ounce of my feelings. It turned out he was feeling exactly the same, which made me feel completely relieved with my venting session. From that moment on, we told each other every day of how we felt about the other. I’ve been staying with him and his family for the past 2 months at their apartment, yet our families still have no idea what is going on between us. We even share a room. Every night I get to fall asleep in his arms and I know one day, we will have to tell our families and it’s probably not going to be so pretty, but it doesn’t matter…I’ll have him, he’ll have me. That’s really all we need if others aren’t going to accept us.
pennylane827 pennylane827
22-25, F
4 Responses Jan 22, 2013

I love your story. How is everything going now?

i wish it was that easy for me i was 17 she was 15 thats when i fell for her which i did not know that we were relation till 4 or so months later that it was my father side of the family and that the elder sister who also was 17 used (my space) to find me for my father and as im getting older the beaufitul girl i fell for was also maturing beautifully will never notice me because i am her cousin and i did confront my father of the idea of me and her about it, i was given an ultimatum by my aunt(her mom) either forget the idea of her n me or be forbidden to come near my father and the rest of that side of the family again so i chose my father and still my heart burns me to see these losers that my beautiful cousin dates the unsuccessful losers that come n go we're both career minded people we're both healthy and pretty athletic shes in University studying dance and gymnastics, Im training for military and when we go to weddings within that family we all have pictures taken together but people insist that me and her stand side by side by ourselves like a couple but i so wish that it was more than just a few minutes to take the photo's and i might add not just my opinion that we do look good together. i have try to look for other girls but nobody comes close to her her personality her appearance just her overall being when ever i see her and get the chance to be around her or see her there is a change in me a good change my mood changes from a fronted happy mood to an ecstatic mood that is a true mood and the worse the about it i have no one locally i can talk to about it :( please excuse my grammar

wow such an insperation you both my god and the angels and thr spirits protect abd guid you best wish and prayer for you.

awwww, that;s so sweet <3