My First (and Only) Love

i developed a crush on a teacher in my school when i was 8yrs old, i looked up to him these feelings gradually changed and grew until when i was 11 i was madly in love with him! he is gorgeous and treated everyone equal aswell as givin everyone a chance and lookin out for us even if not in his class. he always had a way of makin people laugh and happy no matter how down they were. all i neeeded was for him to walk into the room and iwould brighten up! i couldnt bear to spend a second away from him and if he was outta sight id worry myself sick sumit was wrong! all the students loved him he was the best teacher in the school and is the best teacher that the school has ever seen any1 will tell u that he left the school then and its now been 13yrs and i still really miss him and have feelings for him. i just dont know how to move on! i know and always ave that nothin can or could ever happen between us no matter how strong my feelings are! i know 1 thing i will always love him and he has a special place in my heart for the rest of my life he has really left an imprint on my heart
lonelygirl1998 lonelygirl1998
31-35, F
4 Responses Jul 31, 2011

It's fine to love people from the past. You need to find a love for here and now. That does not mean you forget. It's still an open question if you share the past with the present. You need to move on.

You just like my student that soon be my wife (only she told me her feeling once we met again after a long time when she's an adult person) and one man that I know have the same experience too. Many will thought that he's a weird man but nope he never take advantage to her. He's also like me more than 28 years senior to his student; and his student now just 9 years old. She's once told him that the only man she'll marrying one day is him and told him to wait for her for 12 more years.
Her feeling to him is not just any crush you know; she told him that she will die if he die. The point is just told him you feeling. If he's still a single and you're single too then nothing can stop you to tell him your feeling. But make an up close and personal meeting with him, OK. If thing just fine then you'll be with him but if he just seeing you as his student, then you have to move forward. Love is not always to have some one that you love but the most important is to seeing someone that you love have his/her happiness.

Thanx for your reply! I have no idea where he even is and I know last time I seem him 15yrs ago he was married so I\'m guessing he still is and prob has kids at this stage. And all that matters is that he is happy healthy and safe that\'s all I care about. I really really still love him. Pain without him is unbearable at times. I just don\'t know what to do anymore

Firstly you know nothing can happen which is good. Now I have been in that place you are in. I had a big crush on my PE teacher at school ten years after I left he appeared in my dream and then I saw him in the street all those feelings came back but I found once I was at college I forgot about him. I still remember that feeling but I moved on it took about 15 years to do it and I have had loads of crushes on other men since but one day you will wake up to find that you have not thought about him. I now have a crush that has gone to the next level yes he is older than me but what we have is what I have always wanted in a man and I can honestly say I have never been happier.

Thanx!! Its just hard and time not makin it any easier!! I still miss him terribly! I know ill never forget hom and will always love himi just need towant tobe able to get on with my life!!

If its any help I wrote about him in a fictional story with what I wanted to happen and by doing that it sort of got it out of my head. These days I day dream about my current situation which just makes me feel happy. Hope that helps:-)

You know how to love deeply and honestly. I don't think you EVER have to let go what you feel for your teacher (I sure haven't), but at some point your life might be different if you were open to someone else having a place in your heart too. I'm sure you have a big heart with plenty of room. It's true that there may never be anyone you can love quite like him and that's totally okay.

thanx i just dont know what to do anymore i miss him so much! and it not gettin any easier as time goes on!