And I Wasn't Even Looking For "the One"

Yeah yeah, why the heck was I on a dating site to begin with? Well my friend recommended it to me. She was looking for potential partners and realized that she found good friends on there instead. She and I had been complaining about our same, lame circle of friends who did the same things every weekend and we got bored with it. So she told me about OkCupdi and said not everyone there is looking for a date and many just want friends and there is that option that says "Looking for friends." Not my thing but I decided to hell with it, why not try it?

Now in the past I wasn't exactly against dating sites but I was one of those judgmental people who thought only "losers" went there who couldn't approach people in person. Yes, I know, horrible. Now don't get me wrong, I've had my share of online crushes and such. Back in high school I used to frequent chatrooms and made good friends there. Real good that I even carried them outside of the chat site and added them to a social networking site and called/texted them on a regular basis just as if they lived across town. One I even met and ended up dating. But the difference was just a chat one was looking for love. But anyway...

I was kind of iffy at first, especially about posting my picture up and my location. I kept thinking "What if someone I know found me?" But I got past that and ended up posting about 4 pictures of me acting me...being silly. None were posing pictures to make it clear to people that I wasn't trying to be sexy and on my profile I clearly stated that I just wanted friends. I left it open to females as well but it was only males who contacted me which was fine. Talked to many, a few I ended up meeting in person and hanging out with. Then one day I got a "wink" from a guy with tattoos and a mohawk....

I sent him a message back saying hi and asking him how he was. I almost didn't answer because I was thinking "what could a guy who looks like this possible find me interesting for?" But my rule was, answer back to everyone and at least give them a chance. I looked on his profile and saw that he lived 2 and a half hours away in the next state and our compatiility leve said that we were like 55% enemies LOL. But whatever. We corresponded every couple of days for a month and a half until he asked for my number. At this point we didn't even know each other's names! So I said sure and gave my number and he gave his and we finally formally introduced ourselves haha.

I warned him that I hate talking on the phone and that I loved texting and he said he was ok with that. So hours later he sent me a text and we would always talk throughout the day. At this point I had just gotten laid off from my job and was desperately looking for another and was pretty depressed about it and he brightened up my days. About a week into texting we exchanged camera pics and then a week after that he asked if he could call. I was still iffy but told him yes. Less than a minute after I hit "send" came his call. Heart beating, I answered and heard his SEXY *** VOICE. I was immediately intrigued.

We would speak every night for weeks for hours. We spoke about everything. I was surprised by how easily I opened up to him. We were both on OkCupid looking for friends and was open with whatever happened, happened. He didn't like people in his area so he excluded the locals in his results and opted for a long distance buddy...and there I was. I was excited whenever he called and loved how he would text me good morning every day. Then...dun dun DUNNNN....he wanted to meet. Now remember earlier I said I dated a guy from a chat room? Well that guy lived 2 and a half hours away and I met him around 14 times. So I wasn't a stranger to meeting people from a distance in person. He planned a trip down to see me as friends and we both agreed that if anything came out of it then good. If not, then we'd remain friends.

So he came and were immediately comfortable with one another. To be honest that weekend was a blur. But some time that evening he kissed me and then later that night we just sorta jumped each other's bones and had a great weekend. I do admit at first it appeared to be lust but he was also like one of the best friends I've ever had. We talked to each other about anything and everything. It wasn't until the next day that it was made "official." I was texting him and for the life of me can't remember what we were talking about...most likely about us and then he replied with "So I guess we're official." It caught me off guard but then I started giggling to myself like a schoolgirl and I said "Ok, we sure are." A 4 hour long phone call that night followed and now, almost a year later we are married.

Ha, in fact tomorrow makes it a year that he came down and we met for the first time! I wonder if he remembers. Probably not. But anyway, I am so happy. I still have our OkCupid conversation saved onto my laptop since I deleted my account in January. He still has his up but isn't active. At least he changed his status to "seeing someone" and writes that he just looks for friends.

Now, comes the issue we tell people where we met? My close friends know and acquaintences I just say we met through a "mutual friend." But there are randoms here and there including his friends who have asked me and I straight up told them the truth. Many just give a "Ohhhh ok...weird but ok" look on their faces which is fine. People say the stigma is gone but it's still there. The guy at the car dealership kind of laughed when I told him...but then admitted a few minutes later that he met his fiancee on facebook, ha. I guess that's more acceptable than a dating site, I don't know. But people do tend to ask because we will say we're from different states...neither of them being the one we live in now. They just ask out of curiosity. I have no idea what he tells people when I'm not around and we haven't even talked about it but if we're together and we're asked I will reply.

But it's all good. Did I mention that I'm very happy?
lucifette lucifette
22-25, F
3 Responses Oct 14, 2011


Wow, you're similar to me in many ways! I met my ex online and I met my current crush online and I was the same way. I HATED telling people how we met and I would also give the whole "mutual friend" line. It's also funny, I hate talking on the phone and I'd rather text. It was just great to read this and notice the similarities.