How I Met Your Mother

I have written already a few stories, but one, maybe the most important story of my life was left untold until now. It is about how I met my wife. Obviously online, otherwise I wouldn’t post in this section. But let’s go step by step. And for you kids if something should happen to me you can read it here as well and learn what happened before you even existed – so “how I met your mother” in real.
In the year 2000 I did a medical practice in South Africa, in a town called Klerksdorp. Those of you who know me will recognize the occurrences around it. I spend there two months and I went there because I lived there some years before and I wanted to visit some old friends as well. Through those friends I met a charming girl, we fell in love and we had simply a wonderful time. We clicked just like that. She was a music teacher and she just happened to have hoidays so, all was just great!
After four weeks of relationship we had another wonderful date and I took her out to a restaurant. Next day we wanted to go to the cinemas, but that never happened anymore. She dropped me off at home and never came home herself. She had a (possibly provoked) car accident and died on the scene.
You can imagine how that struck me; I was “bummed out” for the next thee months or so and I could not get a straight  thought as soon as I just saw her picture or remembered her voice. Worse, even after her death one could still hear her talking on her phone mailbox. That was really scary somehow.
Well, I had to get my life together but I couldn’t. One night I sat in front of my pc on ICQ. I scanned randomly through a few crazy nicknames and then got hooked by one nickname HIV.
I thought, well, that one is provocative! So I thought what the hell! Let’s chat and I said:
- Hi! How are you?
- Ok, thanks. And you?
- Good, thank you. I have a question. Why do you have HIV as your nickname?
- Because it is my abbreviation.
- Ok course, I know, Human Immunodeficiency Virus.
- No, no! This is an abbreviation of my name.
- Ha? And what is your name?
- Hivana!
- Oh… ok. I see. Sorry, but this name does not sound very European to me. Where on earth are you?
- I’m in Brazil.
- Oh, Hi! I’m Martin. I’m from Germany.

This is how it all started. We had a wonderful chat and we decided to chat again next evening, and next evening, and next, and next, and next. We have exchanged pictures, then some voice files (data streaming and skype were still not as wide spread back then) and finally I called her on the phone. Well that one was a real disaster so we kept on chatting. And it was great. I could tell her about my sorrows, she told me about hers. I told her about the girl I had, who died just recently and she managed to make me  feel much better within a blink of an eye just by showing some compassion and an honest empathy.
After about 3 weeks of chatting we also tried some cyber sex – which by the way worked quite good - and soon after we had to admit that we had quite a crush on each other. We have also realized that quite soon, that she would not visit me in the next time because she was still 17 and her mom would not let her go first. And I was a poor student who had time but no money to spend about 1300$ on a flight ticket and a holidays in Brazil. So we made a deal. We would stay pan-pals or better keyboard-pals, and just tell eachother everything about our lives. I told her about by problems with passing medical exams, she lamented about her high school end and problems getting to the university and of course later also about the problems with boyfriend who betrayed her and how she was fed-up with men.
We have also exchanged letters in the old traditional way which both of us collected and even send each other T-shirts and try to catch the others scent.
In the meantime I moved out to a student's hostel where I also met a girl (I’ll write about it in a separate story) who wanted to go out with me on Valetine’s to the cinema. I thought no big deal. She was my neighbour and we became quite well acquainted. I told Hivana all about it on the vlaetine's evening she asked me if she could chat with that girl for a moment. I agreed and then came was something like that:
- Hi! Hivana
- Hi, is it you V.?
- Yes.
- Get your hands off Martin!! He is my man!!!
I did not see the conversation; V. just switched off the window and got up.
- I think we can go – she said, and so we were off to cinema. Later that evening, after a Romantic comedy, where we held hands and kissed, I Brought her home an went to my mom’s place to return the car. I and found V. sitting in my room drunk like a Boris Jelzin at his best. I asked her what was going on and she just she slurred that she thought that I would not come back any more (I was away just 40 minutes away and I told her this before) and therefore she thought it was a good idea to empty half of the bottle of my Whiskey she found. I know, there is no logic to that answer, and at that moment I was not even trying to figure it out. So I offered her that she could sleep in my bed and I’d take the couch. She agreed and about an hour later lamented about how cold she was and if I could warm her. I just thought WTF and what else she’ll invent just to get me into bed so for god’s sake I gave in. But that was it. We just slept together.
Next morning she woke up all horny and started giving me ******* on my freshly - three weeks ago circumcised - ****. And though I begged her not to ride me she did it. I was glad that she was wet enough so that the gliding was not to sticky and luckily nothing ruptured, but she still manages to pull out some of the sutures. I asked her then how are we going to go about what just happened and she made me a scene. She said something like
- You just ****** me and now you tell me we are not bf/gf??
- Well technically you actually ****** me and not the other..
- I can’t believe what I hear… bla, bla, bla…!!!
I gave in again and so we hooked up. I should have known that being “Mr. Niceguy” is not always a good thing, and that just a recreational **** can get you a lot of trouble.
After she went home I looked up the conversation of the girls had and I felt a bit bad for Hivana. Still I stayed with V. and I told Hivana what happened. She was not happy about it but she understood. That was our deal after all.
V. was a rather dominant person. She knew what she wanted, she had her plan. I think she even didn’t take a dump without a plan. She was half-Russian and I liked her. She was intelligent, good looking and later I liked her father even more who allegedly was a physicist. So we had many things to talk about. I kept my contact to Hivana while V. disliked it. After she got me a job as translator for the journal, where her father was the chief editor, she wanted me to terminate my friendship to Hivana. She has put pressure on my and (****) again I gave in. After all I did not fell like doing nightshifts again in the hospital to finance my studies. So in her presence I had to call Hivana, and I tell her that "I think" it was better we omit the common contact and just let it be. I said that I still like her but I have to get on with my life and so on. Under tears, she agreed and while telling me this I felt like something was squeezing my heart. I knew I was just breaking that girl’s heart and I did it, well, deliberately. It really felt painful and I had to hide the tear from V.. V. has triumphed completely.
So, for the next few months, after almost two years of almost daily chats there was a sudden silence. I was missing something. Then Hivana had birthday and I send her an e-mail. From there on almost an explosive exchange of e-mails erupted between us for some weeks until V. secretly checked my e-mail program and found out my correspondence. She was pissed, me either, but we have settled after I promised her not to write her again.
But this time the little Polish guerriliero woke up in me. I went underground. I made a new e-mail account and installed on my pc a different mailing program exclusively for Hivana. There was no icon in the desktop, no path in the windows bar, just the start icon buried somewhere deep in the directory. V. was happy she got her will and I had my peace. This secret relationship continued even after I moved with V. to Munich.
Ok, I admit, it was fun with V. as well. I think she loved to dominate me and I liked being dominated as well. I wished she would do also some things for me but that was rather seldom. I loved giving head, which I did frequently and whenever she wanted. Maybe some years later I would end up with my **** locked in some cage and keep as her cuckold, but I did not want to let it get this far. Deep down, I knew I did not give this relationship a future.
After I graduated I took up a job about 500 km away from Munich. I have applied to various hospitals close to Munich but they all declined. So I was quite happy in the end for that. I had my freedom, yet I was still obliged to call V. every evening. At the same time my emotions for Hivana did not subside - they grew slowly. She became a kind of ghost or myth in my mind. A virtual remote love I could interpret everything into.
I have realized that this state was of no advantage for anybody. Probably Hivana was blocked in her emotions like me and V. also did not deserved to be cheated for a longer time. It was unfair for me to steal her time while she could look for someone who loved her and not only liked her very much.
At work, the situation was also deteriorating. I was pushing shift after shift and had almost no time to myself. Now I had money, but no time. V. expected me to visit her at least twice a month, which I could hardly arrange due to my shifts and on-call services. I was frustrated with my whole life and the situation in general.
Then end of october 2007 I decided I have to do something radical. I told Hivana I’d take two weeks off and fly to her. She was a bit surprised but agreed happily. At that point she was herself in a serious relationship with another woman. Yes, she probably switched sides after being disappointed by men (and me) so many times. I told her I wanted to meet her and get that ghost out of my head. I told her that I fly to her to meet her. To see how she is as real person and to give her a chance to meet me, of course. I was well aware that I could come back and be singe. Hivana could have said “well you are ok, but let’s just stay friends” or worse. No matter what, but something had to change. I did not want to be 40-something married with V. plus kids and then in my midlife crisis do something crazy. No. No one has deserved it, and possible kids the least!
So I told my parents that I’ll fly somewhere for two weeks and it’ll not be China and neither Afghanistan. I packaged my backpack, bought the ticket and went for a holliday in beginning of November 2007.
On the way to the airport V. called me and I told her that I would fly somewhere for two weeks. She threatened me that if I dare to fly to Brazil, we are divorced! I told her “sorry honey, we were never married” and hung up.
I flew for the 1st time in my life on the other side of the Atlantic. I really felt a bit strange. A bit like  Columbus or Vasco da Gama setting off to...well…the new world and fro me - my new life.
After a day’s flight and a stopover in Brasilia I arrived in Belém. It was almost midnight. The tropic heat covered me with sweat and I had no idea if it is my excitement meeting the girl I was chatting with since 7 years or the Amazon climate. Going down the escalator I saw her standing there waiting nervously behind the glass wall dividing the spectators from the newly arrived, who were still waiting for their luggage. That is where it struck my. I tried to feel my pulse. I had none. I honestly felt my heart stop beating. A moment after I felt my puls return and skyrocket flashing me with a readout. I was not expecting such strong vegetative reaction just by seeing a person. I picked up my backpack keeping her in sight all the time as she kept me and walked out.
Many times before we had imagined how it would be, our first encounter, and we agreed that we would kiss first and talk later. That is exactly what we did. I held her fine hand, hugged her and we gave each other a kiss that lasted… I don’t know how long. I lost the track of time. I had to catch a breath after it and she just smiled and said:
- Welcome in Brazil.
Well I think you can imagine how the rest of the story went. Even though no words were said, this kiss told us both more than was necessary. Meeting her did not feel like meeting someone totally strange. No. It rather felt like meeting an old friend from school you did not see a long time. It felt very familiar. Very nice. After all I knew basically everything about her except never having touched her before.
About a week later I asked her to marry my. We married in January 2009 and after she finished her University she moved with me to Germany. Now we have two little sons and happily struggle through our daily lifes.
My biggest thanks go to the inventors of the Internet without whom I’d never have met her. Thank you guys!
All contact to V. broke off. I just hope she found her love. I sincerely wish her this.
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3 Responses Nov 28, 2012

Awwwww what a sweet story! !

Thank you for suggesting I read your story :) it is amazing and it is great because I relate to it so much

wow ... sad but online dating doesnt worked for me