He Is Real!!!!

I fell in love with someone i met Online... Has been nearly 2 years to this day that we met. He is in the UK and I am in the States, 6 hrs. time difference, along with a large body of ocean and thousands of miles separate us. We met at an un-named game site. At first just playful teasing, all innocent chatting then a month later our first phone call. I remember the call to this day, he was hoarse and congested with a cold. I cried then he sounded so bad. Since meeting not a day has gone by that we have not spoken. E-mails, playing on- line, IM, texting and phone... sometimes all five. At the beginnin of our relationship, he worked for a company that gave him an international phone as a perk... we spoke for hours 6-10hrs. on some days. If you included our "net" time along with phone time, many days we spent 15-20 hours together, only saying goodbye to catch a few hours of sleep or to go to work. Our conversations were no-holds barred, we spoke of anything and everything, nothing private or off limits, complete honesty. Some things he told me should have made me run (and quite honesltly sometimes the things he told me hurt.... i had already fallen for him but not him of me at the time), but I didn't instead i fell deeper in love. He on the other hand enjoyed our conversation, but rejected any feelings he was having for me. I would say, "I am in love with you" he would say, "How can you be, we have not touched" (meaning made love). For months this issue carried on. We had made several plans to see each other but the plan fell short because of his health. His doctor will not release him to fly and he will not let me go there. His reasoning makes complete sense, "I want to give us the best chance at this. When I am sick I am grumpy and I dont want to be that while you are here." There are so many facets to our relationship... so much more to tell, and i will eventually. To cut to the chase, he now says he openly loves me. We wonder as to the reasons why we met, boggles our minds. Two years, OMG, it has been so hard. At times i get soooo mad and soooo angry that i can not be with him yet. Well like destiny brought us together but life keeps so apart. He is on a waiting list for surgery, and is in so much pain everyday (he get clots in his leg ... hence no flying... and sometimes these clots cause the veins in his leg to rupture, busting through his leg) but socialized medicine in the UK takes a long time. After his surgery (he has been told to expect no sooner than mid-July) and his recuperation, we plan to meet this November (if not before the end of the year). All i know is i feel so alone, heartsick at times. Family and friends don't understand our connection nor why i can't just walk. Several times i've been told, "he's not real"... Ohhh but he is.. I hear his voice.... we have exchanged gifts (via mail) for holidays. He knows my every thought and emotion and can sense by how i type alone, what i say, what i neglect to say... what kind of mood i am in (I can do the same of him). I spoken with his family and friends... and he mine. HE IS MORE REAL TO ME THAN ANYTHING I HAVE EXPERIENCED YET.... yet i have never held his hand or felt his kiss.   
n8nfoss1 n8nfoss1
36-40, F
7 Responses May 21, 2007

Online love can be so false. You think the feelings are there, but they can be gone in an instant.

When I was young my Mom got a computer and would play backgammon. She started to add people to her list of contacts that she played games with online. I never believed in "love-over-the-net." One day I was online early in the morning and my moms messenger was up and I had no clue, I totally hated the idea that she had these creeps talking back to her!!! Someone by the name of rodopi from Scotland IM'd her. I asked my mom what should I do about this and she told me to reply back that she was busy and would be on later soon enough he was getting me crazy eyed because he asked who I was if I was her son or daughter because I told her not to even say she had kids for I do not what people that can pretend to be people clear across the oceans and cyber space to know me!!!! so I soon stated being a smartie because I totaly did not trust people online at the time, my motive was for him to not talk to my mom to chreep the crap out of him. Well...soon before you know it I start talking to him on and off on my Moms messenger before it came pretty often and moved him to my yahoo account. I learned he was married but in a no love/sex relationship with his wife who only married him for money and that she had two children at the time. His name was Michale Peter Gray his age at the time was 52, he is 57 this May . I could tell you everything I know about him...at the time I was 16. He had a secret relationship because for some reason I feel in love with him very deeply...the same year my Mom snooped in my messenger from yahoo and saved my chats with him and said she was going to rat him out, which she never did. But long story short we were secretly talking for nearly 2 years. On my 18th birthday, exactly, he stopped talking, e-mailing me, everything....it was hard because I could not tell my family or firends about it and I was secretly depressed for nearly 8 months. I still remember the times and the days we would talk and write e-mails. Somedays I miss it but why should I when I have met my husband to be...I guess at that age I was at I just needed something to actually love/and except me. But, it was so strange because his age or his pictures of who we was did not reflect to me as an old man?

The same thing happened to me, but I didn't get a happy ending. We met on a writing site chatroom. He was my first boyfriend, and he will be my only. I love him to this day. It's been more than two years now. His birthday is tomorrow and when I think about it, I want to cry. He cheated on my with a girl who lived twice as far away from him as I did. They're together now officially and plan to get married someday. I still talk to him, and to her. I love him too much to hurt him by being openly mean to her, but I secretly hate her.<br />
<br />
I wish he loved me...

No, I'm really mad at him actually! How dares he ever do all that! I've been his wife for about 11 yrs already according to all our friends. We've been together in an amazing way in real life too but he's very complicated. So am I. We like the most unusual things and ways of living, however he knows everything about me while I know almost nothing about him.

Well, this is nothing actually :P lol I have had a 12 yrs long deepest passionate relationship with somebody I met online - we're both internet proz and have spent most of our time together having an extremely quality time together and I always felt he's with me both online and in real life because we had everything both online and offline - until now: I left him this summer because after he had invited me million times to go be with him and I have had the most wonderful dreams about our future together, he's in another country from a few yrs and always since then being inviting me to follow him and this year he bought a house I bought myself a wedding gown( we're both very open-minded and unusual) and made every preparations to go live with him forever, when I showed him my flight booking and told him I'm going to live forever with him he suddenly changed his mind and said his life has a differet direction now ; after these words of him and I left him, I 'm in the deepest hollow whatever now! Because I know I'm very important to him, so he is to me. He sometimes plays games I'm not sure I like. I'm 38 now and I have no more time to waste in irc chats, linux sysadmin and virtual reality mainly . I WANT SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY REAL NOW including our love to computers/internet but REAL TOO !!!!!!!!! <br />
I have had all my hopes on him but he betrayed me in the worst way.

I could relate. I had an online/phone relationship. It didn't work out, and I was very heartbroken by it. I couldn't understand at times how I could feel that way about someone I never even touched. But us too, got very close. And your right he is real! Don't let other people tell you he's not! I hope everything works out for you.:)

hey jus wanted to say i met my girlfriend online and we are now living together and have been together about a year or so! whoever said you cant meet anyone online?!