It Started With A Comment.

Recently, I've been on a website called, which is a site to meet local people and whatever, but me, I use it to troll and make fun of people because 55% of people on there post vulgar and inappropriate things they would never ever post on a site all their friends are on.

I make fun of them so much lol.

Any who. I met this guy Tim 21, from Maine. And it was going alright for a while maybe like a month, and then it just died. He was leaving to the marines and I'd ya know, be home and going to school.

I was happy for a bit but then realized that we have absolutely NOTHING in common. He hates the music I love, he hated my stretched ear lobes and piercings, he hates tattoos and I plan on being covered. We argued a lot. So we just dropped it one day.

Occasionally he will message me and we'll just see how each other is doing. Nothing really. So I went back on the site to troll some more to keep myself occupied.

And on the site they have this thing called the "spotlight" you can use it to basically promote yourself and get more people to view your profile.

I seen one that caught my eye one day, just because he had a shirt on of a band I like, so I went to comment on it with lyrics of course. Lol. I posted on lyrics of all the pictures he had of his band merch.

The Acacia Strain, Bayside and Blood for Blood.

Next thing you know, I get a message. He was like "girl you're blowing my mind" and I was like "what? Lol". But yeah that's how it all started.

He is from Illinois like I am, and 3 hours away from me. Thank God. His name is Nicholas. He is 23. Tall. Average build. Stretched ears. Brunette. Scruffy. Short hair. Blue eyes. Tattoos. Perfection in my eyes.

We have so much in common. We're just goofy and love to mess with people. We love watching movies, Though he loves Star Wars and I love The Lord of the Rings, we make fun of each other for it. He loves video games, and so do I. He loves going to concerts and listening to new bands like I do, and our music interests are alike as well, we listen to the same bands, and when it comes to music, it's very important for the both of us.

We started talking back in December, and we seriously talk every single day. From like 10am to 5am. Lol. We seem to never run out of things to say. Plus we always send each other goofy pictures. And occasionally talk on the phone, but work always keeps him from that.

He says I'm the most important thing in his life, because he has depression, and he feels like he can relate to me, trust me, and just confide in me. And I feel the same.

I can honestly say, I am falling for this guy. I haven't even met him yet. And I'm falling so hard so fast. He tells me he is too. He even says "I love you" and seriously I can't help but say it back. It just feels, right.

He says it's fate, I say it's luck. Lol. He says he wants to be with me and I honestly think I'm ready for this.

I have terrible depression and anxiety and it low self esteem. I get cocky though. I won't lie. Eh. Just to hide my feelings for myself.

I mean I'm 18. I've had 3 boyfriends. The shortest relationship was 3 months, the longest was 8. At 14 I dated a coke junkie who just tried to get in my pants, at 15 a pot head & coke junkie who also just wanted to have sex, and at 16 and a pill popper who always put me down. After that I basically said **** this, I don't need a boyfriend to be happy. And I've been single since.

I won't lie though, I'm jealous of my sister(s). One of my sisters has been with the same guy for almost 2 years. Jealous. My little sister even has a boyfriend, she's 15. Lol. Jealous.

Point being. I think I'm ready. Im 18 and more mature. I know what I want. I'm ready to just give it my all, and be happy, and be in love. To get close to someone and have no regrets and disregard anyone who doesn't like it. I'm done with being worried about doing everything right. I'm over it. I want to be happy. I want to have someone to share my life with.

And I think it's Nick I want to do this with. It's like a new beginning with me. I haven't had a bf since I was 16, and he hasn't had one since he was 22, he's almost 24.

But now we have each other. I'm happy. He's happy.

I am finally content with my life.

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Jan 14, 2013