How I Met My Boyfriend (cheating, Lies And Wrong Can Form A Right)

I started working at a grocery store at the beginning of the year in 2011. I had no time for anyone and was working for fun. I was 18 at the time. I had wrapped up a 9+ month relationship and was trying to end a off and on 3+ year relationship. I was really depressed.

It was not until about 3-4 months later I started dating a co-worker. It was definitely not working out and I felt pretty trapped.

Around the end of June I went on a long trip across the state with my friends. while there I was able to think away from the bf I had. My best friend and I talked and she literally FORCED me to create a account on the site called (now called

It was a super fun site. It was a social network of people in your area and of people from anywhere. It was cool because you could post pictures and put statuses up and play games and send friends gifts and flirt.

I told my bestie that I wanted to get rid of it when I got back home. I also told her that I was not going to give any guy my number. However, right when I started and posted a picture. I was immediately getting messages and flirts from guys and girls. I got super giddy. It was mostly because I liked the attention. I was uncomfortable with my weight.

Then I was hooked. I talked to a lot of guys. If I saw a picture I liked or if someone were to like my picture I would send them a message and chat. I got a lot of creeps and a lot of nice guys. None of them had a great connection with me though.

I did this thing where I would talk to anyone and everyone. I would not give them my number. I would lie and say I didn't have one. I got into a lot of arguments with guys that way.. Who knew that guys only wanted me for my number... I get a creepy feeling just thinking about it.

I would talk with them and then see if they would message me the next day or so. only about two or three guys did but I knew they were the stalkerish kind. from the way they commented on every picture (however if they were my bf, I would actually have loved it)

One day, at the end of June, not too many weeks after I set up this account, I woke up and couldn't find my glasses. I was on my hands and knees patting around for them like a weirdo. I thought it was funny so I put that as my status on my account.

My statuses were only being streamed to my friends and people in close proximity to me. Not long after I posted that, this guy James said, "jinkies" . I thought it was funny and cute. So I messaged him like I would to anyone. I saw his bathroom profile photo and really liked that sexy look in his eyes. Either that, or I thought he looked like a weirdo. (He still looks like a weirdo)

He and I talked and to be honest with you, I automatically felt a vibe of hot attraction. I don't know if I was hormonal or what, but some of the first things we talked about were as follows (from my memory)

something like this:

He wanted to go to the bathroom but he hurt his toe bad so he didn't feel like walking up the steps. I immediately suggested a sexual object used in a previous relationship (personal joke) to tie him up in and drag him upstairs...

for some unknown reason my sexual tension with him was off the charts and we developed a strong bond.

You could say it was love at first talk, but I just remember feeling that I could say anything and he wouldn't judge me. I felt so hyper from our conversations. Especially since we ended up messaging each other the next few days or so. I felt like I could trust him with anything.

(mind you I was still in a relationship....)

I don't even think he asked me for my number because I remember telling him that he was the first one I felt comfortable giving my number to.

I wish I could say things were peaches and gravy after that because we did fall in love.

However, we have been going through many ups and downs since....

It all started with our first meeting. The first time we met each other...let us just say it was not how normal people meet.

I'm a little embarrassed to say we met at a grocery store (not where I worked)
I walked to him.. I remember what I was wearing and I remember how I felt.

I had lied to my parents.. I lied to my boyfriend at the time..

I remember being really embarrassed. He and I talked and talked... I was goofy.. then we got to a point where we were sitting together on the side of his van. We kissed. We couldn't stop. I remember some guys looking at us and making loud remarks. James ignored them and I tried to as well.

After that first time, breaking the ice and all that...James and I hit it off well. We started talking a lot and sharing secrets. We were not entirely in our own little world but we really liked each other.

I felt like a cheating ***** sometimes... I would see my boyfriend and after I would sneak out with James.. I felt really horrible... I was having a real dilemma... I created a problem because I had a hard time dealing with pain.

I was not new to cheating....unfortunately. If you knew me and really got to know me I don't think you could picture me the cheating kind. I could defend myself and tell you that i just didn't want a period of being alone, but that would be a lie.

i want to skip all the intimacy parts of this because I want to keep this with the audience of 18 and younger.... (We were bad kids..... o-o )

The situations leading up to break-up were based on my hormones...
What happened was, I was overwhelmed to a very high point.
my current bf at the time was aggravated with me for how i was acting. James was trying to be there for me. Plus to top it all off, my ex bf came into the picture and was trying to get with me...

My ex and I were trying to get over a 3+ year on and off relationship like I said before
and there were many periods of talking to each other...and not talking to each other

This time around it appeared as though he was super upset that I was in a relationship and he thought for sure that I had cheated on him ....

(let me back up....)

My first boyfriends name was Devin.
My second boyfriend, Spence

After Devin cheated on me we broke up and were on and off.
Then I met Spence.
So I decided to stop talking to Devin
For 9 months we stopped talking.
at the end the 9 month relationship Devin came back into the picture.
He and I got together and I broke it off with Spence.
Then Devin broke it off with his gf at the time.
I then decided I didn't want to be with him.
We broke up and months later I got together with this bf.....
I never cheated to get out of the relationship with Devin. He is a freak for believing that.

(back to story)

So I was stressed with these guys... I was unhappy with Devin and my current boyfriend. My hormones were high and in a drastic move I did 3 things at once that switched up everything.

I told my bf at the time that I didn't think this was going to work out.
He seemed cool about it... no big deal... (I was expecting that, slightly... It sucks...He actually  was like, Bye... and that was it.)

I told Devin that we would meet and discuss our break up forever in person (never ended...He is on my mind and we sometimes talk but then get pissy with eachother)

Finally, I told James that I broke up with the bf and without saying it, we were together officially (hadn't told my family the truth yet)

From then on... times were tough...

Him and I had a lot of firsts... so many things we did together that I would have to put it into another category...

What I am going to end with is going to be a light look into my life....

Life is how you make it. I choose to live it and not plan it. Sure I make mistakes but if I don't fret over it too much they become great stories... James and I are still trying to figure out our future but we are in love and have been through so much in such a short time. I think this type of love happens when you let your walls down right away... you will always get hurt the first time. However, time tells you what is right and what it wrong. It was hard but it was worth it in the end. However, my story isn't a happily ever after. I will keep working on this relationship till I die. I will not stop working for it, because if I do... If I do then the relationship will fail. I'm so happy to be with someone who wants to work just as hard.

I am not married. I never got pregnant. I lost my virginity the week before my 18th birthday, not when I was 12. All my views do not interfere with my decisions of my life. I don't believe in YOLO even though I know it seems the same, (it is NOT the same) , I am just an average girl.

This is like... a working progress... In a relationship since July..20th..2011 
Thanks for following along ...

kilayla13 kilayla13
18-21, F
Jan 20, 2013