Too Strong, Too Fast?

Okay, so I met this guy on a chat site around four years ago and since we met and had the most awkward conversation of our lives, we found that we got along amazingly. It started off just pine, talking everyday about everything, just as friends. Eventually it turned into texting, and texting into calling. It took three years to meet up because we were scared we wouldn't get along in person.

Anyway, a good few month before we met up, our friendship started changing. We began being more forward with each other and talking in a whole new way. Bare in mind, this was the guy who had seen me go though an abusive relationship and had helped me through it by being my rock. He helped me through family troubles and when i was just about break, he would hold me together .

When we met up, we were both so nervous because we knew that we felt something. Four years of communication had made us really know each other.

We met and it was amazing. He was a gentlemen and when we went to the movies he kissed me. The way he kissed me was magic and when he pulled away, he said he had been waiting over a year to do that. I was shocked.

Later we kept kissing and talking and when the day ended, we both knew everything was different. Lately he confessed how much he feels for e and i feel the same way and I know he is moving up here in a year for university and that's when he said he would ask me to be his girlfriend...

But it's hard, being so into someone and not having them here and knowing that he is bound to find someone else in this year because a year is a long time . He says he wont, but I know he will. And when he does, I think ill break.
Simoneira Simoneira
18-21, F
16 Responses Sep 18, 2013

Hold on to him!! A year is not too long sweetie :)

My gf and I met on Xbox and I get to see her in 3 weeks! We have known eachother for a year

Hi, I am a journalist student creating an online magazine for online daters. It is to be packed full of real-life stories (successes and disasters)... I am interested in chatting to you about meeting your gf on xbox....would you be willing to chat? Emily.

I wold love to

Love is love my dear. Could be coming your way. You don't want to miss out on this warmth I hope? I advice you to take one step at a time. He seem to mean business.

Do not loose an opportunity to love, even if it is just for a whole. Don't worry about those thoughts that he might leave, be like a child and believe him when he says he won't leave you.

Love is do beautiful.

Take a risk, or never really get to know anybody.

Unless of course, you would in other situations

This is amazing I want to cry

Omg our story are so similliar but the big difference is i never meet him, hes damn too far away. And.. He left now, we might never talk again. Because we are so different. Feels like he want this while i want that. I do hope i can meet him and ended up being his gf like you, but its so impossible to happen. Lucky youuu not every cyber love works like mine. But still guy in realife is wayy wayyy wayy better xx :)

Don't doubt him:) if you strongly feel something for him and he you then he'll keep his word and not go anywhere. By what I've read he doesn't seem like any of the guys I know that would leave in a heartbeat. He sounds different, so don't worry and just wait on time:) you'll see the only real hard thing is waiting for him in the year....not him leaving:)

Feelings can change, life can change, we have absolutely no guarantee past right this second. Don't live by what may happen, live in the moment that is happening. Enjoy life for what it is right this second, don't stress about the future. You both may change, but you may also stay the same. If you live in fear of what may happen, you may miss the something special you have right now.

I agree, we might not be here tomorrow!

Oh sweet girl! Even like is a wonderful, magical thing. You have had a lovely online friendship which turned to something a bit more when you met...ignore those who make rash judgements here. I always dated older boys and they weren't evil. Did this young man try anything inappropriate when you met? It doesn't sound like it. In fact, you said he was a gentlemen.

Feelings certainly can change in a year but why not embrace them while you share them? YOU may meet someone you'd like to date as well! Your worry of losing him is natural as your feelings have intensified - but try not to allow your worry to cloud this happy moment in your life!


If he hasn't found someone else in this time then he probably wont. Let him know you feel doubts but don't keep on telling him you have doubts. I don't want to see you hurt but I think that even if he left you now you would be hurt, so what do you have to lose?

My wife and I accidentally met online in 2000. We have 2 kids now and are more in love than ever. But not everyone is the same, and people change, especially in their teens and early twenties. Be safe, don't do anything in secret or hide anything from your family, but take chances. That's what life is all about.

You are only 13 or 14 years old and your "boyfriend" is old enough for university. Sounds like child abuse to me. You should not be in a relationship of ANY kind at your age. And any man who seeks you out is a child abuser. Run away! !!!

So, he's basically persuading you to put your life on hold, in the hope that he'll still be around in a year's time? A LOT can change in a year, especially as a teenager. Those are the years you should be dating to see what type of person you like, what things you dislike, otherwise, how do you make a healthy choice of long-term partner.

I'd be more inclined to say to this boy that you're happy to keep in touch & reassess where you both are in a year's time, but neither of you should be putting your life on hold in the meantime. I've done it myself, & the outcome was not what I wanted. HE was not what I wanted, because when he finally broke my heart, I realised he was nothing like the man I'd painted him to be. I am thankful now that it didn't work out, because I know that I'd have been pretty miserable with him, if still in a relationship with him now. Traits I thought were wonderful when I met him (I was 11 & he was 14) were most definitely not appealing to me when I was 16 & he was 19!

People are always changing & growing, especially in teenage years & early twenties. They are not the finished product, & we can paint them to be all sorts of things in our head, whilst we're waiting for this wonderful relationship to begin. The reality is often far from what we imagined.

You may find in a year's time that you both give it a go, but don't put your life on hold & be someone's option. As you say, you'd be devastated! So far rather agree to reassess things in a year, but be free to date in the meantime.

As the saying goes, 'If you love someone, let them go. If it was meant to be then they will return. If they don't, then they were never truly yours to begin with.'

On Line romances sometimes work when one meets the other and sometimes not but hey I met my very true soul mate on line in 2007 it was like a whirlwind as we only wrote to each other for about 3 months and then phoned and then after about a week of talking on the phone we met he knew what I looked like but I didnt know what he looked like But instead of meeting him for coffee at a cafe he was picking me up for a weekend picnic and drive .
He came to my door and all we did was stair at each other it was awsome I just melted and from that time on til 2 yrs ago we were inseperable then he was tragicaly taken (pointlessly so sometimes you just have to take the step forward and go for it I never ever have regretted meeting my online Love

University? 4 years ago? Any chance you got your age wrong on your profile?

Surprisingly, no. I'm almost 16 and he has just turned 18. He comes up to university next September. We started speaking when I was 12 and he was 14, so we have known each other a long time.

If he really loves you he wont find anyone else. and why not do long distance?

Long distance never works, and besides "love" hasn't really came into it.

I been in long distance for 7 month its not that bad. when you really love someone you make it work

My long distance marriage survived over 2 years of cruel separation by my weak, indifferent country

My fiance is going to prison for 4-12 years. We had a long distance relationship for a total of 8 months before he went to prison and I KNOW I will still be here when he comes home. If he loves you (which he's waited this long, he most likely does) he won't find someone else...

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