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Gradually

I fell out of love with my husband so gradually that I didn't even realize it til I was parked outside a hotel about to meet a man I met on the internet. The fact that I could actually go through with the affair led me to the very sad realization that the love I had for my husband was dead. It hurt. I thought I would love him forever but after years and years of dealing with his bad temper, paranoid and controlling behavior little by little my love withered away. Now I have nothing left but a big empty hole in my heart.
howsab howsab 31-35, F 10 Responses Jul 15, 2011

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wishing you wisdom and strength

It can be very sad when reality hits home but It appears from this story that you are trying to move on with your life.

Sad baby, you need to let go of the bad and find what you need, some to fill that hole and move on:)

You are to Beautiful, To be in the situation your in....Just so ya know

It happened so gradually that I didn't even notice right away

Have you decided if your going to stay with your husband? Add me, please

Did you discover you fell out of love with your husband all at once or did it happen over time?

I left my first husband after 18 yrs, I met a man online that gives me the emotional support that I never had in my first marriage, and I hope one day that my ex finds the right person to meet his needs I think it will be another man but he is still sure its going to be a woman.<br />
I say if you that unhappy get the heck out I did and have never looked back or regretted my decision to leave.<br />
EP is my new secret from this hubby only because I am worried about how he will take my kinkier side which he doesn't know about yet. And those are the only two secrets I have ever kept from him, or will ever keep from him.

Married for 15 years and dated for 4 years. Out of total 19 years he cheated maybe 17. He now goes to church and prays. He has really changesd. He is now the man that I prayed for. Guess what! I have also changed. I am no longer in love with him. I love him out of committment and habit but there is no crazy love feeling there. It is gone. Now the shoe is on the other foot and he does not understand why I no longer love him. Im afraid what the other side may bring but I have to face the fact that I may be alone. I agree with the comment from Crossfire51 people are happiest when they take control of their own lives. Im ready to take that control and face whats in front of me. I am so ready to be happy and free. Loving me at 42. (finally)

After a few years of marriage, the "feeling" goes for all of us. The dopamine levels have returned to normal levels. Life and circumstances get in the way of passion. Love then, becomes a choice every morning when we wake up. It took me a long time to grasp this fact, but it's true nonetheless. With your husband's changed heart and new outlook on life, how do you find a better man who will love, honor, and cherish you?

What to say...You've come to a decision point and now have to decide. Do you get on with your life and take life as you want it? People are faced with choices every day, although usually not as potentially life altering as this, and how they handle their choices affects them and those around them. Most people are happiest when they take control of their own life, so, take it howsab and be happy! Just a rambling thought for you!!

are comments really anon?

Isn't it funny, most of the time we can't remember when or how we fell in love, but when we realize we no longer love them, it is a surprise even though sometimes we know why.