He Loves Me, But I Am Not In Love With Hubby

 I have known my hubby since we both teenagers. We have been married for 11 years and known each other for 20.  During the cost of our relationship,  it was rough and I broke it off a couple of times. Then he pursued me and pursued me so I got back with him. Then he asked me to marry him and I did not listen to the voices in my head that told me not too. I heard my mother saying he is a good man do it. Then I broke it off during our engagement, and he pursued me again. Then we had our first child and I told him I want out and he made me feel guilty so I stayed and had another child. We now live in a beautiful family oriented neighborhood and I am not happy. I wake up every day angry and I snap at our two beautiful daughters. I flirt with other men and take their numbers. I am reckless. Now, I have fallen for this guy I barely know and my hubby knows and still wants to stay with me. He contacted the guy and warned him and the guy called the cops on us. However, it did not change my feelings about my marriage or my feelings for the guy. 

I am not happy, but financially not stable to move. What do I do?

SoulUnsettled SoulUnsettled
36-40, F
7 Responses Sep 22, 2009

That's one reason we should not listen to people around us...rather listen to our inner selves to avoid mistakes..

what a ****** ***** u are, die in hell ***** u make me ****** sick!!

Pray, find a church and get counseling.

Im an old woman now, but it wasnt always so. Once I had a heart and head full of fairy tales and dreams. Life wasnt especially good to me tho it carved me into who I am! When a subject comes up most times I can say "been there, done that" Ive been married 3 times divorced once and widowed once I had 3 children and adopted some more There's been good times and hard times, fat and lean times, times of great joy and times of devastating heartbreak. I worked in an Intensive Care Nursery at a big hospital for nigh onto 20 years I worked on a lonely sheep ranch and I worked in the Police dept of a fairly large city. I dont need to tell you my life story or go into great detail I just want you to know I have knowledge behind my opinions, but opinions they are, and everyone has to live their own life the way they see fit.<br />
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Dont give up yet It wont be the way you think Just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz "there's no place like home!! Sometimes what we want and need is right in front of us. Sometimes we just need to brush off the dust and remember why we first loved this person. You guys have already been through the hard stuff <br />
<br />
Pretend your husband is a new friend you just met. Cultivate that friendship. Find out about him let him know about you!! <br />
<br />
Find a new activity or hobby that you both can enjoy It might be hard but there is something out there that you both can have an interest in<br />
<br />
Remember the things that attracted you to him in the first place<br />
<br />
i have so much to say to you, but I dont want to sound preachy or patronizing<br />
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Take care of yourself it's not up to anyone else to make you happy, or mad or anything Lead your own life but include him in it and take some comfort from this song of Bette Midler<br />
"The Rose"<br />
<br />
Some say love, it is a river<br />
that drowns the tender reed.<br />
Some say love, it is a razor<br />
that leaves your soul to bleed.<br />
Some say love, it is a hunger,<br />
an endless aching need.<br />
I say love, it is a flower,<br />
and you its only seed.<br />
<br />
It's the heart afraid of breaking<br />
that never learns to dance.<br />
It's the dream afraid of waking<br />
that never takes the chance.<br />
It's the one who won't be taken,<br />
who cannot seem to give,<br />
and the soul afraid of dyin'<br />
that never learns to live.<br />
<br />
When the night has been too lonely<br />
and the road has been to long,<br />
and you think that love is only<br />
for the lucky and the strong,<br />
just remember in the winter<br />
far beneath the bitter snows<br />
lies the seed that with the sun's love<br />
in the spring becomes the rose.

you had kids with the guy. you owe it to your kids to stay with the father until they are grown up and gone. it will be devistating to the kids if you divorce now. ride it out and just wait til they are 18 then move on without any ties.

Don't suffer a single soul to stagnate or burn. When on your own money isn't very important

I can relate to your story. Go with what your heart and soul tell you your inner intuition and ask your higher self to help you know what to do.