First a little bit about myself, I'm 40 years old I have 3 children a wife and a Bachelor of Science degree in Information Technology.

Last year July 2013 I became obsessed with politics and religion. I could not get enough information on Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and US and world history. I would stay up night after night on social media and the internet listening to different professors preaching on their specific topics.

I would smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and smoke a couple of bowls of weed to ease my mind. I also had a weird diet where I would fast for a couple of days and then go back to eating as if it was the normal thing to do.

One night after watching another lecture I looked down at my ashtray and noticed that all the cigarettes have barely been smoked. Then I started hearing someone knocking in the walls and on the doors. I didn't panic I just bought the house was settling.

The following day I could not look at my computer or look at anything on television. I felt like the characters on screens were talking directly to me and their eyes were following me. I became very distant and eventually quit talking. A couple of days later I remember going outside in the backyard and taking off all my clothes and kneeling in the grass praying. I've then got up and went for a walk. My wife woke up in a panic, she knew I hadn't been myself lately so she called the police and reported me missing. I was picked up by the local police about 4 miles away from my home. All I remember was walking through the desert on my way to meeting God. I was standing in front of the billboard praying arms stretched out completely nude, the police tazered me twice and took me to the local hospital. I'm just glad I wasn't hit by a car or shot by someone. I was that diagnosed with rabdomyalosis and severe dehydration and psychosis. No charges was ever filed. I spent 3 days in the hospital tripping out of my mind thinking I was dead and I was on my way to hell. The staffs faces were all distorted and it was so loud. All the sounds and smells was coming from every direction. Finally I was shipped to a mental health facility for an additional 72 hours. Upon release I came home and spent the next two weeks hallucinating and being very religious.

I was seeing images of faces everywhere, the faces were very distorted and I thought I was God himeself. I felt like I had to love everything and everyone and felt like I knew the answer to everything. In my mind I Knew without a doubt thatwere all 1 conciousness. At times couldn't tell where my body ended and where the rest of the world started. I remember watching Television and not being able to understand anything on the screen. I thought I was all the actors. Everything around me seemed so vivid and bright. when I looked at my dogs eyes it felt like I was staring at me through their eyes. Then a few days later I fell into paranoia and depression and fear. I thought God was getting ready to flood the earth and kill everyone. The Sun and wind seemed so angry. I was on a Haldol prescription which I only took for a little over a week and then abandoned. I remember losing complete control of my mind at times. I had racing thoughts about who I am and at times I became mute and couldn't speak. My hands would tingle alot. Just to do the most simpilest task required great amount of concentration. Everything around me was screaming for my attention. Also I couldn't think for the futur or the past. I was stuck living in the moment.

By the forth week I was almost back to my old self. It took me a few more weeks to gain back all my memory's but I was eventually able to recall the whole expierenee.

It's been just over a year and I haven't to my knowledge had any further symptoms. However I do miss the feeling and knowing that we are all God separated into individuals. I kinda want to go back but don't want the fear side of it. I now have complete faith in God who is me who is all who is you.


I'd love to have some feedback on my experience.

Gonjah Gonjah
41-45, M
1 Response Aug 15, 2014

I had a similar experience. Actually eerily similar, as in some things you said were exactly what I thought and I've seen that other people have had the exact same thing. There has to be a connection it's so strange that we could all have the same thoughts?!?! The way mine started was that I lost my soul mate and tried to get in touch with her via a meditation program specifically for that. It led to me communicating with either her or a spirit posing as her, and this spirit told me that we were the 2 halves of God. That we'd get married and rule a nation where only the angels could go. She had me actually walking down the highway to get to her, I walked for miles only to be picked up by the police and brought to MHU. My delusions lasted from Feb. of 2014 to August of 2014. I lost 20 lbs, was sick & probably dehydrated, insomniac, etc. I too have felt ok ever since but I'm always plagued by fear of it happening again. Thank you for sharing!!!!