As Always

.. last birthday I was feeling this way. I usually do.
My partner took me to dinner and said very little... he often does.... he just kind of lets me talk - which I do when I've had a wine or two, so I just sip more and talk more and he says hardly anything .... so horrible.
I just hide the fact that its my birthday from everyone at work and I don't invite friends to celebrate with me because I don't celebrate.... I haven't for decades .... last time I did that we had a big table and funnily enough a couple of people I thought were real friends didn't show and I found myself sitting at the end next to the empty chairs and it seemed that everyone else was chatting with each other and they were loud and happy and I might as well have not been there and then a friend who I thought was a 'real' friend left around 8.30.
That night I cried and cried and cried - my partner just went to sleep - I was in bed next to him crying pretty much all night and he slept
and yup that's how great my relationship is....
Pavlova8 Pavlova8
1 Response May 7, 2012